Smart ass cops - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-03-2007, 03:40 PM Thread Starter
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Smart ass cops

funny stuff.....

These 16 Police Comments were taken off
actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder
Than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
Birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?
Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means
I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
That again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether
You are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where
You go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and
Step in monkey crap."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
Gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to,
But now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
Friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS...

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-03-2007, 05:15 PM
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I advocate violence against cops like these. Fuckin' assholes
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-03-2007, 06:10 PM
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Hilarious! I love #1.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-03-2007, 08:17 PM
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-03-2007, 08:34 PM
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-03-2007, 08:52 PM
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A man was stopped for running a stop sign. The police officer approached the car and asked him if he knew why he stopped him. The man said no and the cop told him he ran a stop sign. The man objected, insisting he'd stopped. The cop countered and said he slowed down but went through it. The man replied, "Slow down, stop. What's the difference?" The officer reached in the car, headlocked the guy and pulled his night stick out proceeding to rap his noggin. The officer then said as he was popping him, "Tell me sir, would you like me to slow down . . . or stop?"

2005 S430 4Matic 'Morton' W220.183 • 722.671 Rest in Peace

Bells and whistles are thorns and thistles.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-04-2007, 04:00 AM
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Originally Posted by ThrillKill
Awesome! Intelligent guy. Good for him. Fuuckin' donut eating, low IQ, fat useless bunch of fucks!
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-04-2007, 01:10 PM
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That is too funny - somehow I doubt it would fly up here - they would let the break in continue while they jacked you for causing a disturbance, improper use of 911 or whatever ....
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-04-2007, 09:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThrillKill
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