Originally Posted by yoseyman
THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT LIVING IN KENTUCKY
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Kentucky.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Kentucky plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Onced and twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Fixinto is one word.
There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
DJeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM KENTUCKY IF:
You measure distance in minutes.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
grain, insect or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You know what a "DAWG" is.
You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car.
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but
require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as"goin' Wal-martin"or
off to "Wally World."
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop . . it's Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . . if our mama says we can drive,
we can drive.
Not EVERYONE can be a Kentuckian, it's an art form and a gift from
Wonder if you were from 'bama?
1. Fried Catfish is the white meat.
2. We don't use tobasco, we use garlic.
3. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air, too. (Our teenage girls are on the side of the road with their feet in the air).
4. If it crawls, it's food and if it grows, we smoke it.
5. 90% of concrete blocks in this state hold up trailers and porches. (The 12" ones we use as porta-pottys).
6. The first day of deer season is not only a national holiday, it's a religion.
7. Chicken stew is all of the four food groups. Chicken stew isn't stew unless you can eat it with a fork and it's cooked in a black 20 gallon kettle.
8. 'Breckfist' is our first meal of 6.
9. We have only 3 snakes we care about 'voidin': The rattler, the copperhead and the cotton mouth. They're all pison and reserved for church on Sundies. The rest are toys our kids play with.
10. We start dog fights with 'okry': Put a bowl of boiled okry in a dog pen, the biggest one will get to it first. It goes down so fast he thinks the other dog took it from him. Pop a beer and watch.
11. Playground kids have 'chikin choker' fights. A wild onion stem is dropped in the worm's hole. When you see it move, it means he's clamped on to it, you yank it and pull him out. Your friend catches one, too. You put them together and watch them kill each other. (This is no shit! My wife didn't believe it and she was from around here. She believes it now.)
12. You carry a tow rope in your truck in case Versey runs his truck in a ditch 'muddin' in Waterloo.