Laughing at god. - Page 9 - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #81 of 82 (permalink) Old 05-16-2007, 03:53 AM Thread Starter
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It ended in a burble of broken sobs: a final emotional percolation of resistant and bitter grief. It also ended with the little white raisins strewn all over God's floor.

But earlier, and back on Earth ...

"God is Great!!!"

The blinding flash of light ... and the huge 'WHAMP' ... and the tremendous deceleration were all over in an instant. The World Trade Center was in flames.

Mohammed Atta opened his eyes. There was a gentle breeze that cooled his skin. In front of him a fuzzy globe of light hung in the air. In the background, rows of grapes receded toward infinity.

The fuzzy globe made a throat clearing sound ... as if prefatory to something ominous.

"I suppose you're here based on Koran 1.2 ... the ... ah ... 'virgin' version?"

Atta threw himself flat against what he hoped was God's floor.

"There is only one God and Mohammed is his prophet ..."

"Yes ... yes ... yes ... we know that ... but, getting back to this ... ah ... older ... virgin version." God paused to see if Atta had any idea of where this was going.

But an ignorant Mohammed Atta, groveling as deep as he could, wished there was even a holy hem below which he could slither still more ... to ingratiate himself still further ... to make himself more worthy of the rewarding maidens which in his heart he knew he richly deserved.

"Oh Lord, Thy word speaks of 72 virgins for martyrdom ... but my little spot in your paradise only wants half a hundred ... nice young pretty ones, mind you."

God sighed and reached for something on a shelf.

The shriek was long and piercing ... even to God's ears. Mohammed Atta slapped the box of Sun Maid Raisins from God's hand ... sending the little albino wrinkled things scattering all across God's floor.

Then the sobs began. He thought of that little piece of 'snatch' in that far away Florida motel room ... and his sobs grew greater.

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post #82 of 82 (permalink) Old 05-16-2007, 05:03 AM
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Well that little translation puts a whole new light on the situation. I mean hell, I do not even like raisins, come to think of it I don't like virgins either.
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