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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-09-2007, 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Punjabi
There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1. to be shot

2. to be hung

3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."

They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing.

The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom."

Hey!! Hey!!!.....when did we become Polocks?

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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-09-2007, 04:37 PM
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That's a truly pathetic joke

Four-sprung Duck technique = Vorsprung durch Technik = Progress through technology
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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-09-2007, 04:53 PM
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Thumbs up Vorsprung durch Technik

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeitgeist
That's a truly pathetic joke

Four-sprung Duck technique = Vorsprung durch Technik = Progress through technology
Thanks Z, I was just about to ask what that joke meant. I've never heard the expression, but I hope that is at least one of the Daimler-Chrysler mottos!

Mercedes Benz - Das beste oder nichts!
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-09-2007, 04:56 PM
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Cool From: The Phrase Finder

Meanings and origins of sayings and phrases | List of sayings | English sayings | Idiom definitions | Idiom examples | Idiom origins | List of idioms | Idiom dictionary | Meaning of idioms

Meaning:

This German phrase is usually translated into English as 'progress through technology'. A literal translation would be 'advancement through technology'. There's no single English word which is an exact English equivalent of 'vorsprung'; 'to leap ahead' comes close.

Origin:

This phrase has been used as a strapline in adverts for Audi cars since the 1980s, capitalizing on the German reputation for technical expertise.

Mercedes Benz - Das beste oder nichts!

Last edited by Musikmann; 05-09-2007 at 05:02 PM.
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-09-2007, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Musikmann
Thanks Z, I was just about to ask what that joke meant. I've never heard the expression, but I hope that is at least one of the Daimler-Chrysler mottos!

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenence job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and says, "It says sprocket not socket!"

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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-09-2007, 05:15 PM
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-09-2007, 05:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregs300CD
Steve
YouTube - Earl Scruggs & Steve Martin - Foggy Mountain Breakdown (Best


The only thing more immense than Ricky Scaggs' talent is his hair.

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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-10-2007, 01:21 AM
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Cheers Pun jabber - for that detesticle one in particular...
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-10-2007, 01:23 AM
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Cheers Pun jabber - for that detesticle one in particular...
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-10-2007, 04:56 AM
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You've Come a Long Way Baby
Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Iraq several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.

She returned to Iraq recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives.

Ms. Walters approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," she said. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?"

The Iraqi woman replied, "Land mines."
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