You Know Your a Cop If.... - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-26-2007, 12:58 PM Thread Starter
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You Know Your a Cop If....

1) You have the bladder capacity of five people.

2) You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

3) You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air.

4) Your idea of a good time is a gun run or a car chase.

5) You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly
towards you.

6) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.

7) You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.

8) You have your weekends off planned for a year.

9) You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

10 ) You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it's

11) You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide...getting it
right the first time."

12) You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing

13) You think caffeine should be available in IV form.

14) You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow
more than a .15

15) You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.

16) Anyone has ever said to you, "There are people killing other people out
there and you are here messing with me."

17) People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange
places...and you know where it's located.

18) You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while
standing over a dead body.

19) You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession.

20) You walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize their
buddy and shout, "They've come to get you, Bill."

21) You do not see daylight from November until May.

22) People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and think
they're being hugely funny and original.

23) A week's worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5 pairs of socks, and
5 pairs of underwear.

24) You've ever referred to Tuesday as "my weekend", or "this is my

25) You've ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction.

26) You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says,
"Boy, it sure is quiet tonight."

27) Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you.

28) You find humor in other people's stupidity.

29) You have left more meals on the restaurant table than you've eaten.

30) You feel good when you hear "these handcuffs are too tight". LOL

My Car WOO HOO...... Now SOLD
New car.... 2001 Jaguar XJR!!!!

When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
Thomas Jefferson
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-26-2007, 01:05 PM
Boring Cars...meh!
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31. You were a total pussy before you got a badge.

32. Only way you can get a date is by pulling over chicks and bartering.

33. You take your family problems out on civilians.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-26-2007, 01:41 PM
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I've talked to enough cops to vouch for the truth of that list.

good one! LOL

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-26-2007, 03:53 PM
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Easy there, my gran pa was a cop and he was no pussy!
He was from the days when a cop would say to someone "stick em up!" there was no sinkin Miranda back then when he started.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-26-2007, 06:15 PM
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Originally Posted by nutz4benz
31. You were a total pussy before you got a badge.

32. Only way you can get a date is by pulling over chicks and bartering.

33. You take your family problems out on civilians.
33a. You take your work problems out on family members.



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