This is probably the most disparaging review I've ever read of any movie.
Peter Hartlaub, the reviewer, is very gifted with words as well. "Car porn", indeed.
I laughed out loud at a couple of the comments and descriptions; I also groaned at the banal voiceover reference and the awful lyrics. He references the youtube video of the Enzo crash as better than the movie, and here's the link to it: YouTube - Eddie Griffin crashed a rare Ferrari Enzo worth $1.5 million
'Redline' actor wrecked a Ferrari, but the real disaster is in the movie
Peter Hartlaub, Chronicle Pop Culture Critic
April 16, 2007
Redline: Car-racing drama. Starring Eddie Griffin, Nadia Bjorlin, Angus Macfadyen and Tim Matheson. Directed by Andy Cheng. (PG-13. 95 minutes.)
"Redline" received a publicity bump two weeks back, when actor Eddie Griffin wrecked the prize possession Enzo Ferrari of producer Daniel Sadek, whose real-life stable of exotic cars is featured in the racing film.
If that accident keeps us one more step away from a sequel, then Griffin deserves an honorary Oscar -- or at least someone at the DMV should remove the points from his driving record. This movie is so horrible that it actually spends some time in "so bad it's good" territory, before getting significantly worse. The sooner B-list comedians wreck all of this man's vehicles, the safer moviegoers will be.
Despite the movie's PG-13 rating, it can only be described as car porn. There's one scene where a shiny vehicle takes up most of the frame, while two out-of-focus actors exchange lines of dialogue in the background. Actors are to "Redline" what the pizza guy is to X-rated filmmaking.
Not that it matters. Other than Griffin, few of the main players are recognizable, and scenes that don't feature a shiny, speeding car appear to have been completed in one take. Even the wardrobe spans multiple generations, with one good guy copying Mark-Paul Gosselaar's early 1990s fluorescent preppie "Saved by the Bell" garb while another borrows the sport coat/scarf/bare chest look of every "Miami Vice" villain.
All of the above would be fine if the movie's badness was played for laughs, like last year's fantastic testosterone explosion "The Marine." Whether he was aware of it or not, Patrick Swayze built an entire career out of intentionally horrible cinema. But there's an earnestness to "Redline" that could only come from people who think they're making a good film.
The movie is about four wealthy men -- a rap producer, a counterfeiter, a Vegas kingpin and the stereotypical rich Japanese guy -- who bet on underground races. These contests attract a pretty-boy driver, his Marine brother and a hot female racer whose exposed cleavage is the only thing in "Redline" that gets close to equal time with the cars. As the writers smack the audience over the head with each development, even the characters are introduced by a voice-over that exposes their cliche. "The war hero -- he fights for what he believes in!"
Perhaps worst of all, most of the races are boring. While real cars were used, there's a clear attempt to make sure the vehicles don't get scratched (in retrospect, that seems like a waste of time). As a result, most scenes involve quick-edit close-ups or helicopter shots of two cars racing side by side. The old Candlestick Park dot races were filled with more tension.
Do yourself a favor and stay home. Griffin's 21-second wrecking-the-Enzo video on YouTube is more exciting (and better directed, and better acted ...) than anything in "Redline."
-- Advisory: This film contains violence, sexual content, adult language and an awful band that writes car-themed songs with lyrics including: "You turbo charge me if you like it fast/'Cause I'm the kind of girl who's built to last."