8:00 a.m. - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 a.m. - Got a belly rub and pet! My favorite thing!
12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 p.m. - Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my
dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them; I once again vomit on the floor. Today
I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow-but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe ... for now .
OH YEA THATS WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK JUST WAIT TILL YOU GO TO WORK AND YOU LEAVE THEM ALL ALONE THEY ARE PLANNING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD ,
WERE DOOMED
OH YEA THATS WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK JUST WAIT TILL YOU GO TO WORK AND YOU LEAVE THEM ALL ALONE THEY ARE PLANNING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD ,
Linear Mode
