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post #51 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:26 PM
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post #52 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:26 PM
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the puke meister returns
post #53 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:33 PM
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Originally Posted by dklein
yup theres nothing like that big fart when they pull that telescope out of your ass i swore that thing was 10 feet long when it went in .
was i releaved to see it wasnt .
the woret thing was the fleet to clean you out . wow talk about pissing from both sides, and at the same time.
oh so sorry i got carried away there .
That fleet was some evil stuff. I sat on the porcelain throne swallowing that and listening to it splash below, with hardly a pause and no discoloration.

I heard that there was something new that ain't so turr'ble, but damned if I'm going to volunteer to find out.

B
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post #54 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:36 PM
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Is this what will happen to me when I get old?
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post #55 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:41 PM
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Is this what will happen to me when I get old?
I'm sure glad nobody explained the indignities of aging when I was young. Or if they did, I was too stoned to listen.

Here's the truth: There is no benefit in aging. It always sucks. Irreversible havoc is wreaked by entropy and it accelerates as you get older.

Aside from that, not too bad.

Oh yeah, there is one thing better: I can fart a hell of a lot longer and louder than when I was in my 30's. It's probably related to some bad news the doctors haven't told me.

B
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post #56 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:42 PM
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The joys of going over 50.

First they give you something that makes you feel very good about life. A tranq of soem sort. Then a hypnotic, which is so effective (at least on me) that I couldn't tell a difference from when they slipped it into the drip and when they were talking to me in recovery. But I felt very good about the whole thing.

This is what I have learned: When you meet a new doctor, check for knuckle-size. My doctors is a woman with small hands and slender fingers, bless her.

B
Forgive my ignorance, but are you referring to a prostate exam? A friend of mine (in NY) insists that all men should schedule one when they hit 40. I don't think that's the case over here, but in any case I guess the whole experience might be bearable if you were to be heavily sedated first. Anyone had one and can relate the experience? Ever since I saw that movie 'Fletch' the whole prospect makes me feel faint. I don't even know all the words to 'Old man river'
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post #57 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Botnst
I'm sure glad nobody explained the indignities of aging when I was young. Or if they did, I was too stoned to listen.

Here's the truth: There is no benefit in aging. It always sucks. Irreversible havoc is wreaked by entropy and it accelerates as you get older.

Aside from that, not too bad.

Oh yeah, there is one thing better: I can fart a hell of a lot longer and louder than when I was in my 30's. It's probably related to some bad news the doctors haven't told me.

B
OK, then I raise your rate to 42K now, I don't want to be responsible for falling objects
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post #58 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:45 PM
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Forgive my ignorance, but are you referring to a prostate exam? A friend of mine (in NY) insists that all men should schedule one when they hit 40. I don't think that's the case over here, but in any case I guess the whole experience might be bearable if you were to be heavily sedated first. Anyone had one and can relate the experience? Ever since I saw that movie 'Fletch' the whole prospect makes me feel faint. I don't even know all the words to 'Old man river'
No he mean full rectum exam, like inserting a probe with a camera maybe
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post #59 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:50 PM
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Unhappy colonoscopy

its called a colonoscopy every man and woman should have one done at 50 i was bleeding internally so i got to go @ 44 its not painfull just more uncomfortable and you have to have one hell of a good fat after the procedure.
post #60 of 79 (permalink) Old 02-11-2007, 06:54 PM
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Originally Posted by deathrattle
Forgive my ignorance, but are you referring to a prostate exam? A friend of mine (in NY) insists that all men should schedule one when they hit 40. I don't think that's the case over here, but in any case I guess the whole experience might be bearable if you were to be heavily sedated first. Anyone had one and can relate the experience? Ever since I saw that movie 'Fletch' the whole prospect makes me feel faint. I don't even know all the worrds to 'Old man river'
The prostate exam is digital -- doc pokes he finger up the poop-shoot and palpates the prostate. Since that gland is also involved in the process of ejaculation, massaging it is a more than strange experience. I understand that some guys get a lot of pleasure from that. I do not find it pleasurable, but that's probably a psychosexual thing that I'm just not into. Also, if your bladder isn't empty, pressure can force it's evacuation. Yahoo.

The proctoscope is a long fiber optic cable and the proctologists introduces into the anus and suns it up the sigmoid, ascending and into the transverse colon, rotating to observe the walls looking for lesions and polyps and such. They like a clear, unobstructed view and so, have the victim dring a gallon or so of electrolyte to flush the innards. The process stimulates the smooth muscles of the intestine and is tiring for your body. The whole experience is intrusive, degrading and makes you physically miserable. But the drugs are good.

B
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