Californians... - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2007, 05:03 PM Thread Starter
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Californians...

It's the newest of the similar lists...there's a few on here that are priceless.


You know you're from California if:


1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take public transportation and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones, pagers or PSPs.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. (Winston Churchill)
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2007, 05:11 PM
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7. I can
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-09-2007, 11:39 PM
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I can relate to #16.

And some other numbers.

I am Californian all right.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-10-2007, 12:10 AM
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Re. # 4. I became acquainted with Flower in the jacuzzi and sauna of a condo complex I used to live in. She is now my physician, and that is her real name.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-10-2007, 01:22 AM
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1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
- My date tonight - 5' 2", DD, from India, traditional family, she has 9 tattoos. none visible

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
- Median in San Francisco: $719,000

3. You take public transportation and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
- Я не понимаю

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
- Actually, it's Dave. When did they start with the first name thing?

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
- Last time I checked, but who's checking?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
- And they'll sue the sperm donor for child support when they break up (and win)

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
- Can't everyone tell the difference?

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
- Does anyone care? The cops sure don't

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
- This is like the Easter Bunny.... it doesn't exist.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
- Currently at $2.84

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
- Who's out at 8:30 am? That's when I'm waking up.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
- $1362.00 for 6 months (MB - full / Honda, Liability)

13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?
- I have a prescription from my doctor. It helps me get off the xanax.

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
- That was today. Nightmare conditions. We actually needed to use the wipers.

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones, pagers or PSPs.
- My 8 year old nephew has a Razr

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
- Saw 3 today

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
- Shit... you need some.

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
- My cat really does have Bi-Polar disorder

19. The Terminator is your governor.
- We're too stoned to notice

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
- Don't forget the right to vote, welfare, car insurance and unemployment.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-10-2007, 01:54 AM
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11. Working actors are on the set earlier.
Non working actors are either to fucked up, or in rehab.

12. I am out of Xanax too, damn.
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