It's the newest of the similar lists...there's a few on here that are priceless.
You know you're from California if:
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take public transportation and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones, pagers or PSPs.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
__________________ When you learn from your own mistakes, that's experience.
When you learn from the mistakes of others, that's wisdom.
When you fail to learn from any mistakes, that's government.
__________________
"Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind." —Albert Einstein
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security." -Benjamin Franklin
"I have a very simple taste. I only like the best" -Oscar Wilde
Vehicle: 1985 500SEC, 1991 190E 2.6 (50k original miles)
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 9,897
Re. # 4. I became acquainted with Flower in the jacuzzi and sauna of a condo complex I used to live in. She is now my physician, and that is her real name.
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
- My date tonight - 5' 2", DD, from India, traditional family, she has 9 tattoos. none visible
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
- Median in San Francisco: $719,000
3. You take public transportation and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
- Я не понимаю
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
- Actually, it's Dave. When did they start with the first name thing?
5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
- Last time I checked, but who's checking?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
- And they'll sue the sperm donor for child support when they break up (and win)
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
- Can't everyone tell the difference?
8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
- Does anyone care? The cops sure don't
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
- This is like the Easter Bunny.... it doesn't exist.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
- Currently at $2.84
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
- Who's out at 8:30 am? That's when I'm waking up.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
- $1362.00 for 6 months (MB - full / Honda, Liability)
13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?
- I have a prescription from my doctor. It helps me get off the xanax.
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
- That was today. Nightmare conditions. We actually needed to use the wipers.
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones, pagers or PSPs.
- My 8 year old nephew has a Razr
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
- Saw 3 today
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
- Shit... you need some.
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
- My cat really does have Bi-Polar disorder
19. The Terminator is your governor.
- We're too stoned to notice
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
- Don't forget the right to vote, welfare, car insurance and unemployment.
__________________
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”
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