Originally Posted by ThrillKill
*no offense to a certain Nipponese aquaintance.
none taken, not at all. Let's just say I will appreciate what I have done for the past 4 years and will continue for at least one more year for many years to come.
Support from the community plays a big role. I am fortunate in that respect that other families and acquaintances understand and admire what I do - only once did I get into a real fight with a Neanderthal who complained that little girls should not be using men's bathroom (this happened when she was 3). I asked him if he has problem with mothers taking their sons into womens room - that the fact he is making an issue over this is a form of descrimination. I told him that there is no way I am going to leave my daughter outside on her own while I pee. In the end, I lost my patience with his lack of understanding and told him to fuck off.
Here's something from my stay at home dad files:
Lessons From Stay-at-Home Dads
By Kate Lorenz, CareerBuilder.com Editor
John Lennon made it cool. Michael Keaton and Eddie Murphy played it for laughs. Any way you cut it, men who leave the paid workforce to raise their kids are gutsy non-traditionalists. And their numbers are growing. At last count there were an estimated 2.5 million stay-at-home dads in the United States alone.
Who are these modern marvels? According to Dr. Robert Frank, author of Equal Balanced Parenting and The Involved Father, the average stay-at-home dad is 38-years-old, married and lives in the suburbs. The most common reasons for assuming this role: His wife made more money and the couple didn't want to put their children in daycare.
"For us, the decision was a no-brainer," says Andrew Krill who stays home with his twin boys, while his wife, a retail executive, commutes to work each day. "My wife's earning capacity is far greater than mine, and we both think it's important to have a parent at home.
"When it comes to bread-winning, I've taken a support role, so that my wife can excel in her career," adds Krill, who formerly worked in the retail industry and as a bond salesman. "Yet I also recognize my duty to lead our family...and I do, both financially (by handling all bills and investments) and spiritually."
Joe Battaglia, who assumed primary care duties of his 4-year-old daughter after being laid off from his job as a computer programmer, finds his new life rewarding but isolating.
"Socially, it can be awkward," he confesses. "My daughter and I aren't included in many neighborhood playgroups and activities. And when I've tried to initiate play dates, moms have seemed reluctant to entrust their kids to a man's care. Once I called a woman with a 4-year-old son to see if they would like to get together with my daughter and me, and she told a friend I was hitting on her!
"To make matters worse, many of my guy friends don't understand my decision or how much work it can be," Battaglia adds.
Not only do stay-at-home dads take care of the children and perform domestic chores like running errands, cooking and doing laundry, they also perform the traditional male roles of yard work and home and car repair. Despite all they do, many are met with condescension, even insults. At websites such as stayhomedads.com, slowlane.com, and daddyshome.com, you'll see reports of taunts like "pansy," "wuss" and "Why don't you get a job like a real man?!"
More often, though, it's covert. One man lamented he'd never felt so emasculated as when a group of women in the supermarket parking lot stood snickering as his 2-year old hurled a package of pantyliners from a bag he was loading into his minivan.
No, this lifestyle is not for everyone, Battaglia acknowledges. But he doesn't regret his decision and encourages all fathers to become more involved in their children's lives.
On the whole, it appears that's where our culture is trending. A report by the Council of Contemporary Families found American men do more housework and childcare than men in any of the other four developed countries surveyed (France, Italy, Germany and Japan).
And it's paying off. Research from the Center for Successful Fathering in Austin, Texas, shows that kids who spend increased time with fathers benefit from higher grades, greater ambition, fewer anxiety disorders, and a reduced risk of delinquency or teen pregnancy. Another study found that children with actively involved fathers score higher on verbal skills and academic achievement and that working mothers are more involved with their children when the father stays home than when their children are in professional daycare.
Jim Petersen, a father of three school-aged children, says the arrangement has helped him develop an amazing bond with his children and grow as a person. An active networker among stay-at-home dads, Smith says he has yet to meet a wimp (though he ran into several at the office where he used to work). "Being a stay-at-home dad hasn't meant abandoning my masculinity. It's made me a stronger, better man."
The boldface part is right on. I will be 38 this year, married, live in the suburbs, and the decision to become one is exactly as noted. Also I drive a Honda Element, #6 on the following list:
Top Ten Gay Cars
Does all this make me feel emasculated? Nope. I feel no need to compensate for my masculinity - I know I am good at what I do and it shows. As far as I know I have heard no taunts, but only words of "I wish I could do the same," from most of the peers. When one is comfortable with the role, I believe it elicits less behind the back remarks of being a wuss.