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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 04:09 PM Thread Starter
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obit

OBITUARY



Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.



No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.





He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.



Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).



His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.



Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;

and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.



It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.



Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment

than their victims.



Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement



Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.



He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.



Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 04:14 PM
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Red face

Quote:
Originally Posted by yoseyman
OBITUARY



Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.



No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.





He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.



Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).



His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.



Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;

and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.



It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.



Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment

than their victims.



Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement



Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.



He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.



Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Well.. He certainly didn't die of a brain tumor.

oops, sorry wrong guy.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 04:35 PM
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I knew common sense was a goner when that phrase became an oxymoron...

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy; its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. (Winston Churchill)
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-14-2006, 05:39 PM
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Stillborn.

Then somebody spanked the placenta.

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