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post #71 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-10-2006, 03:45 PM
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Originally Posted by BNZ
____________________________________

Continued from post #38.

....yet another 'Right Honourable' BW Member ascends the speakers stand to receive ass licking compliments to a mighty roar of the raucous crowd.....

..thence 'asianml' is awarded the prize for the most genial, cordial and wise beyond his tender years, as we can all learn something from this superb human being, to deafening cheers from the drunken throng.

A 'fleet' of semi-trailers deliver more neck oil. One semi of Veuve Cliquot, gratis from the Madam herself in honour of this great occasion is immediately commandered by an armed and intoxicated Deathrattle. A trailer of Basil's Bourbon is unloaded and stacked in a corner for T.K. A truck of Grand Marnier is offloaded for 'cascade' and BNZ quickly scoffs a crate in rememberance of Richard Manuel who hung himself in 1986. ..In a room in his house Grand Marnier bottles were found stacked high as an Elephants eye. .. Aye!
More trailers of premium Vodka, Gin, Whiskey, Rum, JP4 jet fuel, Vintage Wines and Ales are unloaded whilst the sumptuous buffet is piled high with fresh lobsters, crabs, caviar, steaks, Kiwi and Kangaroo pies, Vegemite and schooners of Fosters and Steinlager for Shrimpton and our Australasian mates n' cobbers as they're all good blokes and plenty of photographs of Thai dishes by Corkscrew for Asian food lovers.
Super'huge' multiple draw bongs each loaded with a pound of Bob marleys' ashes are located all around the 'Great Hall' and kept attended and afire by grovelling obsequious BMW 32I owners.


Botnst correctly receives the well deserved 'Technical' compliment award, then fueled by copious quantities of Champagne & champignons (special crop) distributes the psilocybin fungi and gives a fascinating history of 'everything' which keeps the multitude riveted for days.

After this 'high' an expected downer dark cloud descends, then FTL enters the Great Hall. A riot immediately breaks out and after 20 mins they come to their senses as they realise they all agree ..it's 'im ! But he has that effect on people and collecting his two well earned Bickering and A.K.A. awards, hurls violent petty abuse at the presenters and all within. This resumes the riot, guns are drawn but everyone's so shitfaced they can't get a shot off. FTL sells a penile implantion at an exhorbitant profit to Kamil, surgery starts immediately as FTL scrubs up.
Several participants start discussing politics, droning on and on with no resolution in sight, arguments then fisticuffs and a circular stampede to nowhere ensues. T.K. calms the mob with a few well placed Bon Mots and several canisters of tear gas. Some dick named Paul gets savagely beaten outside. The BW rioters are denied access to the 'Fire Water' for 24 hours. This is swiftly negotiated down to 5 mins which can be used up as a toilet break which is ineffective as the Mens toilets are by now backed up with vomit and excrement and the spacious Ladies is occupied by one ......chill_babe, painting on her eyebrows and flirting with herself in the mirror, she is ruthlessly pushed aside as the vast Ladies shit'orium is invaded by members urinating and vomiting everywhere while the Professor is futilely demanding stats' and defence from the toilet rolls.

GMISBEST drives his Alero into the hall in deliberate provocation, he looks ravishing in his 'virginal' white General Motors wedding dress. His tyres are slashed and a Molotov cocktail is thrown melting the cheap plastic GM interior and burning the 'half masted' Gerbil flag as the cheap paint crackles and the thin steel panels warp. He responds cleverly with a sharp wit and fond remembrances of MBZER ( may peace be upon him ) which draws complaints to the mods from you know who. Ransom negotiations for Rex begin over several crates of liquor, Champagne and a large sack of cocaine in a back room whilst the stage is set up for a burlesque marriage ceremony and Guage is pacing, nervously eyeing the jilted FTL.

Seeing an opening, the petition for the long awaited re-instatement of MBZER ( may peace be upon him ) is forwarded to the dias, read out, his now classic text

" Who0o ElZe WuD FuK w/a SoRRy Ass PuZZy LikE "U"...? "

is posted on the big screens, loudly supported by the humourists amongst the members but sadly the dyslexics have the numbers to vote it down.
A bevy of strippers circulate among the crowd, are quickly 'taken down' and put to good use, more strippers are demanded ! ..................


To be Cuntinued.

Next:
Kamil gets creamed.
Paris Hilton beaten.
T.K's in a jam.
The Pope immolated..
..and The Venerable V.V. ??

_________________________________________

eh hem...I don't paint on my freakin' eyebrows dammit, I get them waxed
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post #72 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-10-2006, 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted by chill_babe
eh hem...I don't paint on my freakin' eyebrows dammit, I get them waxed
Hmmm I dunno looking at your avatar I'd say they were painted....
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post #73 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-10-2006, 04:03 PM
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Hmmm I dunno looking at your avatar I'd say they were painted....

...
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post #74 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-10-2006, 04:04 PM
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...
What? I'm that funny I need two posts? For sure.
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post #75 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-10-2006, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BNZ
____________________________________

Continued from post #38.

....yet another 'Right Honourable' BW Member ascends the speakers stand to receive ass licking compliments to a mighty roar of the raucous crowd.....

..thence 'asianml' is awarded the prize for the most genial, cordial and wise beyond his tender years, as we can all learn something from this superb human being, to deafening cheers from the drunken throng.

A 'fleet' of semi-trailers deliver more neck oil. One semi of Veuve Cliquot, gratis from the Madam herself in honour of this great occasion is immediately commandered by an armed and intoxicated Deathrattle. A trailer of Basil's Bourbon is unloaded and stacked in a corner for T.K. A truck of Grand Marnier is offloaded for 'cascade' and BNZ quickly scoffs a crate in rememberance of Richard Manuel who hung himself in 1986. ..In a room in his house Grand Marnier bottles were found stacked high as an Elephants eye. .. Aye!
More trailers of premium Vodka, Gin, Whiskey, Rum, JP4 jet fuel, Vintage Wines and Ales are unloaded whilst the sumptuous buffet is piled high with fresh lobsters, crabs, caviar, steaks, Kiwi and Kangaroo pies, Vegemite and schooners of Fosters and Steinlager for Shrimpton and our Australasian mates n' cobbers as they're all good blokes and plenty of photographs of Thai dishes by Corkscrew for Asian food lovers.
Super'huge' multiple draw bongs each loaded with a pound of Bob marleys' ashes are located all around the 'Great Hall' and kept attended and afire by grovelling obsequious BMW 32I owners.


Botnst correctly receives the well deserved 'Technical' compliment award, then fueled by copious quantities of Champagne & champignons (special crop) distributes the psilocybin fungi and gives a fascinating history of 'everything' which keeps the multitude riveted for days.

After this 'high' an expected downer dark cloud descends, then FTL enters the Great Hall. A riot immediately breaks out and after 20 mins they come to their senses as they realise they all agree ..it's 'im ! But he has that effect on people and collecting his two well earned Bickering and A.K.A. awards, hurls violent petty abuse at the presenters and all within. This resumes the riot, guns are drawn but everyone's so shitfaced they can't get a shot off. FTL sells a penile implantion at an exhorbitant profit to Kamil, surgery starts immediately as FTL scrubs up.
Several participants start discussing politics, droning on and on with no resolution in sight, arguments then fisticuffs and a circular stampede to nowhere ensues. T.K. calms the mob with a few well placed Bon Mots and several canisters of tear gas. Some dick named Paul gets savagely beaten outside. The BW rioters are denied access to the 'Fire Water' for 24 hours. This is swiftly negotiated down to 5 mins which can be used up as a toilet break which is ineffective as the Mens toilets are by now backed up with vomit and excrement and the spacious Ladies is occupied by one ......chill_babe, painting on her eyebrows and flirting with herself in the mirror, she is ruthlessly pushed aside as the vast Ladies shit'orium is invaded by members urinating and vomiting everywhere while the Professor is futilely demanding stats' and defence from the toilet rolls.

GMISBEST drives his Alero into the hall in deliberate provocation, he looks ravishing in his 'virginal' white General Motors wedding dress. His tyres are slashed and a Molotov cocktail is thrown melting the cheap plastic GM interior and burning the 'half masted' Gerbil flag as the cheap paint crackles and the thin steel panels warp. He responds cleverly with a sharp wit and fond remembrances of MBZER ( may peace be upon him ) which draws complaints to the mods from you know who. Ransom negotiations for Rex begin over several crates of liquor, Champagne and a large sack of cocaine in a back room whilst the stage is set up for a burlesque marriage ceremony and Guage is pacing, nervously eyeing the jilted FTL.

Seeing an opening, the petition for the long awaited re-instatement of MBZER ( may peace be upon him ) is forwarded to the dias, read out, his now classic text

" Who0o ElZe WuD FuK w/a SoRRy Ass PuZZy LikE "U"...? "

is posted on the big screens, loudly supported by the humourists amongst the members but sadly the dyslexics have the numbers to vote it down.
A bevy of strippers circulate among the crowd, are quickly 'taken down' and put to good use, more strippers are demanded ! ..................


To be Cuntinued.

Next:
Kamil gets creamed.
Paris Hilton beaten.
T.K's in a jam.
The Pope immolated..
..and The Venerable V.V. ??

_________________________________________
Very nice. I've enclosed a picture taken on the drive to the ceremony.


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post #76 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-18-2006, 06:50 AM
BNZ
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______________________________
Cuntinued from post #55.


From the Police blotter the true story so far..

Jillian is blamed for obliterating the planet.
V.V.V. Drinks and drugs himself into a coma.
More fuel is delivered.
FTL causes riots.
GMISBEST gets a perfect fit wedding gown @ MSRP + Tx.



....An atrocious disco caterwaul starts up. The failing chanteuse, Britney Spears hired cheaply as she can't get a gig, ..is booed off and anally molested by the young BW hounds as even they, in their inexperience, are appalled at her skanky vag. Her hanger-on friend Paris a smarmy, asinine, chattering bottle blond suffers the same anal fate to the jackals and is deservedly beaten as well.
An eager member bounds up to the stage and performs The Dirty Sanchez ..alone ! This social faux pas is rightly regarded as too crass for the Grand Occasion and he is pelted with old MB U.S. headlights, useless monovalves, worn rail guides and 14" stock alloy wheels. In the corner Jakarta Expat is clobbering Shane with a 280 short block " Big enough for you now? " ..Rams it up his ass and it's a sloppy fit, Shane was right !

The SWAT team is called and rapidly moves in only to be repelled and defeated by the ferocity of the BW members, led by FTL who is gleefully throwing insults at their manhood in a continuing effort to sell some of his products and blames Rove, Rumsfield and the Republican party when he's unsuccessful. Jillian gives out vintage 'ludes from her private stash to mellow and calm the BW brotherhood after the clash.

Kamil parades in, carrying a large poster of himself, smirking and proudly winking at the bimbos to jeers of 'fag' 'queer' 'nancy boy' and lurid obscene invitations from the Mens toilets which he seems to be considering. Applying eyeliner, powdering his nose and extracting a very LARGE butt plug from his hairless L'Oreal'd ass he flippantly throws it to the MB.org tribe, this enrages them but he's so egotisical he doesn't notice and ascends clumsily to the speakers rostrum. This candy-flossed preposterous pissant clown, a sniggering, snuggling, small dicked, brass balled, vapid, inane, scent-impregnated, mincing, gibbering, vacuous, slag-heap of lilac-covered pus, who has actually gained entry to some sort of University is a glittering example of why the rest of the world think Americans are stupid ..Camel Sex demands to be Emperor of the Universe, then naively asks " What would you guys do if you walked in on your wife cheating? " A cream pie hits him squarely in the mush and a round of guffaws, disdain and derison erupts from the unruly multitude as a cuckolded fiance fires a gun in his direction hitting a 10 ton chandelier which crashes to the floor spilling an enormous cache of cocaine everywhere and several members noses are broken in the rush. The Venerable Von Vorshlag is jarred by this disturbance and his arm automatically shooting straight up, orders another quarter pounder spliff of Bob Marley Blue Mountain and a crate of his Remy Martin Louis XIII Grande, without rousing from his prone comatose state, ...but it's a healthy sign !

Now at the dias a deserved compliment goes to Zeitgeist for the succinct .. " You're all worthless turds " which resulted in a stunning self realisation by devastated members and a posting plunge on BenzWorld.org that lasted weeks due to severe depression and drunkenness. A few death threats are shouted out but are dealt with severely.

Thrillkill posts some youtube videos to the big screens which loosens up the crowd and dazzles them with the idiocy of our species, then the well composed Germanstar steps up, responding with choice witisisms to receive the .. 'Special Compliment in a Bestiality Thread' for the delightful and economical "Oh deer ! " which adroitly sidestepped the more obvious 'John Doe?' pun. .Bravo !

http://www.benzworld.org/forums/off-...er-hunter.html


Meanwhile a bonfire and a stake are being erected by the Pope for Thrillkill's recent pictured gross blasphemy of the revered J. Christ.
This should be good, ..how's T.K. going to Google his way out of this one?
The mood darkens now as Thrillkill cunningly offers a peace 'council' with some vintage wine, a Penfolds Grange 1951 @ $49,534.55 per 750 ml. .ile Pope no stranger to 'sacramental' wine eyes it with a knowing lust, ....he's going for it. Ten bottles are blessed in a blur, swiftly consumed by His Holiness and the BW mob manoeuvre the now plowed Pope towards the pyre soaked with bottles of Glennfuckit Irish Whiskey, torch it with a burning porn mag, throw the Pope on and immolate him. Bibles are tossed on by Corkscrew to keep the bonfire raging and the masses are cheering again. They grab Kamil, brutally castrate him to resounding cheers, shove the 280 block up his bunghole, it falls out of his ass too ! Undeterred they toss him onto the bonfire he's so optimistic he still doesn't get it and asks " Any of you ever bang a fat chick ? " .... as he crackles in the flames.
Now George W. Bush gate-crashes and the throng start heckling "Say something George" misreading the gathering he does, " I read three Shakespeares. ... I've got a eck-a-lec-tic reading list." a tremendous howl issues forth, "Just that ONE special word George, just that ONE " and George stutters it out " t t t t transformationed " The mob roars with delight, Jayhawk takes him to the bonfire in disgust and throws him on top of Kamel Sex and the Pope. Now the Great Hall is shaking from the foundations to the rafters in merriment. At last the Venerable Von Vorshlag stands up, bottles, crustaceans and cream pies are flying everwhere........

"If this is the Xmas party, what's the new Years Eve shindig going to be like?"

"This is BW Compliments Awards, the Xmas party starts tomorro...uh oh!."


________________________________________
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post #77 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-18-2006, 06:53 AM
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_____________



The Venerable Von Vorshlag ..now ironically the only one still standing is robustly GLOWING with RADIANT health, opens his eyes...

" PHHHHHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAWWWRR,



WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ! "


" MY HEAD'S ON FIRE "


He swallows a bag of CO.2 and pours a dozen bottles of Remy Martin Louis XIII Grande down his steaming craw.

The Great Hall has been vapourised by the blast other BW members are coming to.

T.K. wrongly blames it on Jillian ...again.
She's somehow strangely flattered and busy distributing 1000's of Vicodin (private stash) to the needy, and everyone is needy.
The 9/11 conspiricist liberals are blaming it on G.W. Bush, he's ashes, then every one agrees it's the Iranians. The Athiests are now beating the Creationists claiming religious fanaticism. The Creationists counter weakly with "Free will" and a very 'hopeful' " Armageddon is here " this as usual is unconvincing as during the big blast a distinct apparition of Kim Jong-il was seen by the now Invulnerable Venerable Von Vorshlag who, upright, saw and weathered it. There's a cloud settling, it has that familiar sweet odour of Ganga, from the hall bongs. Everyone starts breathing deeply.
A still stunned Deathrattle insists it was Monsignor Lemaitre's Big Bang but then realises he's 15 billion light years too late. Perplexed he finds a few dozen boxes of Cliquot protruding from the rubble and drinks a few magnums. This inspires foraging to liberate more crates of lubricant in the pile. The buffet is found ..crisp, edible, no salad and everyone tucks in. The Vicodin kicks in. The wine and liquor start flowing again..................

Last edited by BNZ; 12-18-2006 at 07:00 AM.
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post #78 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-18-2006, 09:36 AM
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WHAHHAHAhahhahahahhahahha
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post #79 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-18-2006, 11:16 AM
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Did I hear something about 'vintage 'ludes'?

"If spending money you don't have is the height of stupidity, borrowing money to give it away is the height of insanity." -- anon
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post #80 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-18-2006, 02:36 PM
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wakey wakey hands off snakey ...
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