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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-27-2006, 11:17 PM Thread Starter
Boring Cars...meh!
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Farm News

Max the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred
young layers (hens), called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job
was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the
soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought
a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so Max could tell from a distance, which rooster
was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report
simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch; a very fine specimen he was, too.
But on this particular morning Max noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

Max went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing.
The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer Max's amazement, Butch had his bell in beak, so it couldn't ring.
He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Max was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair and Butch
became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result...The judges
not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded the
"Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could
figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet
by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when
they weren't paying attention?
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-28-2006, 05:26 AM
worst mod in BW history
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Date registered: Apr 2005
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-28-2006, 05:38 AM
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A city boy buys a farm. goes to the stockyards to buy farm animals.
meets a man selling hens the man tells him 'round here their called pullets.
Then meets a man selling roosters, the man tells him 'round here their called cocks.

he then decides he will need a mule for the heavy hauling and goes to the man selling mules. The man tells him 'round here their called asses.
believe me boy these asses can be stubborn and won't budge one foot. So what you have to do is gently rub their underbelly to relax them to get them going again.

On the way home the ass stop right in the middle of the street and would not budge. as a pretty lady approaches the new farmer asks her nicely....... excuse me ma'am, would you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-28-2006, 05:44 AM
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Date registered: Jan 2005
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by Jerrold H. Zar

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.

( You know who you are - actually, you probably don't).
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-28-2006, 06:02 AM
Forum Administrator RC Colas® & Moon Pies®
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Ok. I got halfway down and my right eye went on break. With no one to keep tabs, the left eye took a nap.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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