Forum Administrator RC Colas® & Moon Pies®
Date registered: Oct 2006
Vehicle: 1981 380SL 151K: 2001 E320 4Matic Estate 147K: 2008 E350 Sport 4Matic 120K: 2005 S500 116K
Location: The Land of Pleasant Living
Mentioned: 13 Post(s)
Quoted: 1133 Post(s)
Bear Devours 7 in 'Grizzly' Thanksgiving Carnage
Brutus, a four-and-a-half-year-old grizzly bear, was attending a Thanksgiving dinner that went horribly awry at the Montana Grizzly Encounter, a bear rescue and educational facility, in Bozeman, Montana.
According to sherriff's reports, the 2000 lb. carnivore became agitated when both drumsticks were claimed. Forensic evidence suggests that Brutus pouted for a while until he realized his huge height and weight advantage and went looking for some drumsticks of his own.
The remains of the seven human attendees all showed evidence of having had their legs ripped from their hips and the bones were picked clean. The rest of the Thanksgiving feast was also eaten except for a plate of canned cranberry sauce and some lima beans. "Ah gess he woant much of a cranberry sauce kinda bear and as for the lima beans, caint say as I blame him" one deputy later commented.
Animal Control officials found Brutus in the backyard, listlessly kicking a football around. He was finally captured after he had run up a 28 to 0 score against the A. C. team. "He was a good opponent", said one of the officials. "Several of our guys went down in this contest. The bear's huge height and weight advantage helped him overcome our defense but our aerial attack finally proved too much for him!"
On a related note, the Bozeman Eternal Light Center for the Homeless was able to provide 2000 lbs. of meat for their Thanksgiving Day Celebration for the Less Fortunate. One of the diners, however, reported finding an I.U.D. in his bowl of bear stew. Following that incident, the other homeless men quickly consumed the rest of the meal in an effort to locate more birth control devices or perhaps a pack of Lucky Strikes.
Hope everyone has a day to be Thankful!
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?