I want to be an illegal alien - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 03:19 PM Thread Starter
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I want to be an illegal alien

Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes

Senate Office Building

309 Hart

Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United Statesfor five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 04:13 PM
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Those pesky, educated, rich illegal aliens gettin' you dander up?
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 04:58 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Shane
Those pesky, educated, rich illegal aliens gettin' you dander up?

Nah, just politicians.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-30-2006, 09:19 PM
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Yoseyman, If you really sent the letter then congratulations, I made the choice to live out of the States more than 20 years ago when I sat in Bangkok at the bar everyday and read the International Herald Tribune and saw how these boneheads were spending my hard earned tax dollars.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 12:25 AM
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Earlier today, I watched congress woman and Democrat Loretta Sanchez say that the 700 mile fence will never be build. Where did they find this mental giant? No fence is needed, just proper laws and enforcement with stiff fines for employers, similar to Western Europe. There would be little reason to come here with no opportunity of employment. With the present calibre of most US politicians, I am relieved to not be eligible to vote, there wouldn't be anyone, Democrat or Republican, I could vote for. It would be nice to have politicians who actually remember their constitutional mandate to serve the people. I am astounded by U.S. voting laws (without direct elections), the way big business continues to own candidates, the two party system, and the fact that politicians get away with so much here. Someone once said;"Most politicians are dishonest. But if you find an honest one, buy him right away." A acquaintance of mine who had lost his job and insurance coverage, sat for ten hours in the emergency room of a so called free clinic with a deep gash in his leg. It took a few minutes and 11 stitches to close the wound. He said he was the only white guy among a few Asians and mostly Latinos. He gave his correct adress and SC number and received a bill for $ 900 or so. I wonder who else from that waiting room received such an invoice?
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 05:57 AM
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Good post
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 10-31-2006, 10:53 AM
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How many times do we have to see this same letter posted?
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