Will Moderate For Cigars
Date registered: Apr 2005
Vehicle: 2002 ML320, 2005 S430 4MATIC, 2010 F150 Crew Cab
Location: City on the TN River
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Quoted: 204 Post(s)
Popeye found dead
Dateline September 21, 2006
Popeye the sailor, the scrawny boistrous seaman whose claim to fame of his strength after eating Delmonte spinach, was found dead today in the sleeping cot of his schooner. He was 77. Born in 1929, he was quickly catapulted to fame after realizing that children were not eating their vegetables, namely spinach. His crusade led to several hundred syndicated cartoons featuring himself competing with a nemesis named 'Bluto' for an anorexic boardwalk slut named 'Olive Oyl'.
"As always, just when you thought Bluto was about to get the 'goil' after beating Popeye senseless, a muscular bicep reached out of a pile of human destruction with a can of spinach to supercharge his strength", quipped Robin Williams, who played the ornery sailor in a 1980 movie."He will be greatly missed by us all!"
He is survived by his ever so ugly live in goil friend, 'Olive Oyl' and one bastard child, 'Swee Pea'. He is also survived by two nephews. He was preceded in death by his close friend, 'Wimpy', who died of coronary artery disease in 1997.
Officials say that a bag of Dole spinach was found on the counter in his galley. The bag tested positive for E. Coli. Sources close to the sailor claim it must be foul play since Popeye was always eating Delmonte spinach. "He never strayed from it", claimed a close friend who asked not to be identified. "Popeye would have never betrayed the trust of Delmonte and Co. He was under a lifetime contract with them!"
His body was found in a heap of diarrheic expulsion by 'Olive Oyl' after a morning jog with Bluto. Olive maintains her relationship with Bluto is strictly platonic. Police are investigating.
"I guess Popeye was finiched 'cause he eat his spinach", lamented Williams.
2005 S430 4Matic 'Morton' W220.183 • 722.671 Rest in Peace
Bells and whistles are thorns and thistles.