Something to lighten the mood... - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-22-2006, 05:51 AM Thread Starter
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Something to lighten the mood...

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."

3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

4. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does
this taste funny to you?"!

6. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says
to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't
believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman, The kids were nothing
to look at eith er.

8. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

9. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know
you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

10. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

11. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other
and says "Dam!"

12. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

13. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a
family in Spain; they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also
had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They 're twins! If
you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

14. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad,
it's good).... A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

15. Finally, there was the person who sent fifteen different puns to
his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make
them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Hey, SOME of them are funny............

"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon, the pigeon knocks over all the pieces, on the board and then struts around like it won the game."
Vladimir Putin

"They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here?"
Paul Harvey 8/31/94


"The only people who have quick answers don't have the responsibility of making the decisions."
Justice Clarence Thomas
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-22-2006, 08:22 AM
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3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


My favorite.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-22-2006, 08:24 AM
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Can't help but think of the comedian in Goldfinger.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-22-2006, 11:24 AM
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A Rabbi, a Priest and Biker walk into a bar. Bartender says "what is this? some kind of Joke?"
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-22-2006, 11:32 AM
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What do you call a fly with no wings?
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A walk
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 09-22-2006, 11:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveN007
3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


My favorite.

yeah, i think that one was my fav too.. they were all pretty entartaining though.



in political asylum
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