A Date for Dateless BW Members - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 08:40 PM Thread Starter
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Smile A Date for Dateless BW Members

No doubt you clicked on this thread out of curiosity or perhaps, you're one of the dateless Benzworld members.
Whatever the reason may be, the fact is, I now have your undivided attention.

First thing first, how critical is your condition?

1. Great (I am married and date other women.)
2. Not too Bad (I am married and only date my wife.)
3. Bad (I haven't had a date since last year.)
3. Very Bad (I haven't had a date since the turn of the Century.)
4. Extremely Bad (I haven't had a date since the Nineties.)
5. Desperate (I haven't had a date since the Eighties.)
6. Critical (I haven't had a date since the Seventies.)

Second, how old are you?

Between 69 and 50
Between 49 and 30
Between 29 and 20

OK, Good News!
There is hope for anyone age 70 or younger.

First, take a long and hard look in the mirror.
Second, ask yourself this question: "Would you date the person in the mirror?"
If you answer 'Yes' (You're Nutts!)
If you answer 'No' (There's is hope for you.)

Now, you need a complete makeover and probably a new wardrobe. That requires some cash.
Do you have any money?
If you answer 'No' (It's going to be difficult for you.)
If you answer 'Yes' (There's hope for you.)

The above advice was free. That's all you really need to get started.
BTW, if you have been out of the game for quite a long time, it's now acceptable to f*ck on a first date, especially if you've spent a lot of money--as long as it's consensual. Incidentally, don't frown upon the fact that your date is carrying a bunch of condoms. That too is now, not only acceptable but necessary for safe-sex.
If things don't work out, self-gratification is well accepted. Lucky You!

Mi$ter Right.

Last edited by offroadwarrior; 09-10-2006 at 09:48 PM.
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 09:24 PM Thread Starter
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Don't Be Discouraged...

...by Teasers.
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Mi$ter Right.
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 11:03 PM
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I always suprise myself with what I can get. On the other hand I should be more careful with what I wish for. Now if I can just remember: looks aren't everything, looks aren't everything, aw fuck, just look at that....
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-10-2006, 11:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by offroadwarrior
No doubt you clicked on this thread out of curiosity or perhaps, you're one of the dateless Benzworld members.
Whatever the reason may be, the fact is, I now have your undivided attention.

First thing first, how critical is your condition?

1. Great (I am married and date other women.)
2. Not too Bad (I am married and only date my wife.)
3. Bad (I haven't had a date since last year.)
3. Very Bad (I haven't had a date since the turn of the Century.)
4. Extremely Bad (I haven't had a date since the Nineties.)
5. Desperate (I haven't had a date since the Eighties.)
6. Critical (I haven't had a date since the Seventies.)

Second, how old are you?

Between 69 and 50
Between 49 and 30
Between 29 and 20

OK, Good News!
There is hope for anyone age 70 or younger.

First, take a long and hard look in the mirror.
Second, ask yourself this question: "Would you date the person in the mirror?"
If you answer 'Yes' (You're Nutts!)
If you answer 'No' (There's is hope for you.)

Now, you need a complete makeover and probably a new wardrobe. That requires some cash.
Do you have any money?
If you answer 'No' (It's going to be difficult for you.)
If you answer 'Yes' (There's hope for you.)

The above advice was free. That's all you really need to get started.
BTW, if you have been out of the game for quite a long time, it's now acceptable to f*ck on a first date, especially if you've spent a lot of money--as long as it's consensual. Incidentally, don't frown upon the fact that your date is carrying a bunch of condoms. That too is now, not only acceptable but necessary for safe-sex.
If things don't work out, self-gratification is well accepted. Lucky You!

I'm glad that was free, if I paid for it I'd want my money back.
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-11-2006, 06:51 PM Thread Starter
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NZ BENZ
If you want hands-on instructions, you'll have to search elsewhere.

Mi$ter Right.
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-11-2006, 07:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by offroadwarrior
NZ BENZ
If you want hands-on instructions, you'll have to search elsewhere.
But there is always "hands on". I hear if you sit on your hand long enough to numb them you could make yourself a date
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-11-2006, 08:25 PM
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Offroad! Thats freakin' Avril Levigne isn't it? Go straight to jail.

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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-11-2006, 09:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shane
I always suprise myself with what I can get. On the other hand I should be more careful with what I wish for. Now if I can just remember: looks aren't everything, looks aren't everything, aw fuck, just look at that....


I do not wish for what you can get

.
.
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.

馬鹿は死ななきゃ治らない。

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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-11-2006, 09:26 PM
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I'm a straight guy Yacht$man, will you be my queer eye?

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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-11-2006, 09:33 PM Thread Starter
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What's the transgression...

Quote:
Originally Posted by 94Wagenmeister
Offroad! Thats freakin' Avril Levigne isn't it? Go straight to jail.
...for which you call for my incarceration?

Mi$ter Right.
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