Sex Facts! - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 09-09-2006, 11:32 AM Thread Starter
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Sex Facts!

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place"
Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !"
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up who."
Joan Rivers

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns

Don't believe everything you think
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 09-09-2006, 11:45 AM
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 09-09-2006, 11:54 AM
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A few more:

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
Garry Shandling

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers

In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact.
Marlene Dietrich

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
R. D. Laing

I know nothing about sex because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Negotiating with Obama is like playing chess with a pigeon, the pigeon knocks over all the pieces, on the board and then struts around like it won the game."
Vladimir Putin

"They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here?"
Paul Harvey 8/31/94

"The only people who have quick answers don't have the responsibility of making the decisions."
Justice Clarence Thomas
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