NSA: We are Powerless! - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-08-2006, 11:13 PM Thread Starter
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NSA: We are Powerless!

The National Security Agency -- the super secret eavesdropping arm of the military charged with keeping tabs on the communications of the nation's enemies, allies and for the last four years, American citizens -- is facing a power crunch, according to the Baltimore Sun's Siobhan Gorman.

In response, the NSA is quietly sending pleas to its targets via pre-recorded phone calls, text messages and its super-secret microwave "power of suggestion" feature to voluntarily reduce their volume of communications. (You can activate this at home by pressing the "defrost" button.)

They also asked people to:

* Turn off any encryption, at least until September brings cooler weather to the East Coast.
* Make overseas calls at non-peak hours.
* Directly CC: sniffmypackets@nsa.gov for only the most essential terrorist plotting emails
* Try to avoid, in conversation or written communications, any non-relevant uses of the phrases 'jihad,' 'pipe bomb' and 'this country is run by incompetent, ideological nincompoops'

The note closes with my favorite of their slogans: "Help the NSA Help You."

Please do your part -- Remember we are all in this together.

"Protecting the Constitution vs Presidental powers is not about terrorism, but of doing what is right vs. what is easy. I choose doing right... where do you stand?"
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-08-2006, 11:26 PM
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The NSA and the good old days.

http://mediafilter.org/caq/cryptogate/ This story is better than a Ludlum.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 08-09-2006, 08:37 AM
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