A Koala,a Lizard and a Joint - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 05:16 AM Thread Starter
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A Koala,a Lizard and a Joint

A koala is sitting up in a gum tree.........smoking a joint
when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says,
"Hey koala! What are you doing?"

The koala says:

"Smoking a joint,come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the Koala and they
smoke a few joints.After a while the little lizard says his mouth is
'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.But the little
lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and
helps him to the side,then asks the little lizard:

"What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting
smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,got too stoned and then
fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into
the rain forest,finds the tree where the koala is sitting
finishing a joint,and he looks up and says,"Hey you!"

So the koala looks down at him and says:

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit dude.....how much water did you drink?!!"

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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 05:37 AM
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Where did they get matches in the rain forest?

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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 05:41 AM
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A koala enters a popular tavern in Melbourne and sits down at the bar. It isn't long after he's sipping on a martini when he's approached by a prostitute. She sits down next to him and asks him if he'd like to have sex with her in the back room. Being a typical male, the koala complies and follows the slut to the back room. He wails away on her and then returns to the bar. He grabs his coat and heads for the door.

He doesn't quite make it out before the hooker asks him where he is going and when he intended on paying her for the sex. She tells him to look up the word "prostitute" in the dictionary.

It read "prostitute-one who receives money for sex"

The koala then hands the dictionary to the prostitute and tells her to look up "koala."

It read "koala-a member of the marsupial family who eats bush and leaves."
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 05:48 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThrillKill
Where did they get matches in the rain forest?
Probably where they got the rolling papers,duh!

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 09:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThrillKill
Where did they get matches in the rain forest?
Actually, where did they get *dry* matches (and papers for that matter) in the rain forest?
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 09:25 AM
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picky picky picky .... Gum tree's don't grow in rain forests because it's to wet .

Last edited by Von Vorschlag; 07-27-2006 at 09:28 AM.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 09:50 AM
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Well coffee grows near the near the rain forest, Spanish for coffee is café, Spanish sounds like spinach and they serve a spinach and bacon omelet at the Rain forest Café. Kevins last name is Bacon so I imagine Kevin Bacon gave them matches from the Rain Forest Café. Where they got papers is anyones guess.

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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 01:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThrillKill
Where they got papers is anyones guess.
Kevin Bacon was in Beauty Shop with Octavia Spencer who was in Win a Date With Tad Hamilton with Paris Hilton who gave the koala a Gideon Bible from one of the Hilton hotels and they just used some pages out of that. Jeez.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ThrillKill
Well coffee grows near the near the rain forest, Spanish for coffee is café, Spanish sounds like spinach and they serve a spinach and bacon omelet at the Rain forest Café. Kevins last name is Bacon so I imagine Kevin Bacon gave them matches from the Rain Forest Café. Where they got papers is anyones guess.
I think you have us there , but you know the old saying "where theres a will , theres a way " and how many of you have skinned up using any thing you can find like some freaked out freak brother ..

Last edited by Von Vorschlag; 09-29-2007 at 03:49 PM.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-27-2006, 03:54 PM
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They borrowed ONE match from the door to door Zig Zag salesman who also gave them some sample rolling papers. They lit the other doobies off one another. They used a small twig as a roach clip and ate mangos becaues they got the munchies. They wished they had some Visine... oh well.
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