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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 06:54 AM Thread Starter
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Bad American

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American :By George Carlin.


I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!


I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.


I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.


I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.


My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.


I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.


I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.



I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA.


I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry rear if you're running from them..

I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

And what is going on with gas prices... again?

I believe "illegal" is illegal no matter what the politicians think.

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 07:42 AM
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Carlin in top form. Could not agree more. Teutone (legal alien) BTW Steven Wright has been touring again.
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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 08:37 AM
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I caught Carlins HBO special a few nights ago and it was spot on. A little older like us all but nailed it hard. He has been telling it like it is for FIVE decades. Yikes. Sad that everyone has not got it by now.

Good post yos

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Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 09:01 AM
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That's not by George Carlin.

http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html

Right column, 1/4 way down, under 'News Flashes'.
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 09:05 AM
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Not him -- doesn't even sound like him. I remember that stupid Katrina crap that was supposedly his too...

"If spending money you don't have is the height of stupidity, borrowing money to give it away is the height of insanity." -- anon
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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 09:07 AM
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That's on his site too.

Carlin's way cooler than that.
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Jillian80
That's on his site too.

Carlin's way cooler than that.
I was going to say, that ain't Carlin!

He wouldn't say any of that.
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 01:23 PM
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Some sound Carlinesque. Reading the list [not the one above] from his web site, I found a couple that were Rita Rudner jokes from a few years ago. A couple were Dennis Miller riffs from his HBO days.

I went back on Tivo and the Copyright on the GC special was 05 so it was not 'new new' but very funny.

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Being smart is knowing the difference, in a sticky situation between a well delivered anecdote and a well delivered antidote - bear.
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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 04:02 PM
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I'm a bad American corzz I like my beans to do want beans ought to do .....Pfffffiiitttt ........Goddness was that me ....mercy .

Last edited by Von Vorschlag; 09-29-2007 at 03:41 PM.
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 06-10-2006, 05:59 PM Thread Starter
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That was forwarded to me as Carlin. I did not research it.
To be honest with you I saw Carlin a year ago and he seemed a hell of a lot more bitter than this. His schtick was very morbid and degrading to women.

oh well, who ever wrote this has a very good mind set.
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