Why MySpace is a Waste of Humanity - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-23-2006, 06:28 AM Thread Starter
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Why MySpace is a Waste of Humanity

April 23rd, 2006
Using the power of Google searches, I hope to prove why Myspace.com is a failure of humanity. I’m not debating whether Myspace offers a good system or service, I’m only lamenting the place it has become thanks to its user base. There are good and bad uses for social networking websites. Most are useless and waste more time without contributing to the social good. Myspace is the worst. A few things to note before we begin:

These highly scientific searches were conducted with Google using the query trigger [site:myspace.com] input before each search. The words you see are exactly what I put into Google on April 7th, 2006. Though these numbers may seem large at times, keep in mind that of the whole body of profiles (72,200,0001) they represent a small percentage of total people.
Yes, MySpace is a great place for bands. I’ll get to that.
Some people are capable of making good profiles, pages and blog posts. But I wish there were more.

It all started when I wanted to find a reason why the core of my Internet-saturated being hates Myspace. For fun one day, I searched within Myspace’s profiles for the following phrases:

9620: "I’m going to kill myself"
72,000: "I’m rick James Bitch"
3,100,000: wierd

Man! This is fun, thought I. This got me started on a torturous hour of minimally scientific research to discover exactly why Myspace is for the most part a heaping pile of hot garbage. I started writing.

I must disclose that I am a recent member, but I can’t stand navigating beyond my own profile’s simplicity for fear of contracting an epileptic seizure. My delicate retinas cannot survive the persistant attacks from animated images created by eight year olds who probably blink every 10 nanoseconds. This intensive research was conducted on an aging laptop with a faded LCD screen from the safe distance of 10 feet with thick billowing smoke between me and the faint rectangular object in the distance.

I lumped my findings into digestible headings:

Spelling and Literacy: The Language Factor
MySpace has created a safe haven for a scary phenomenon. It fosters a snowballing language deterioration led by the youth. New dialects and minimalist communication conventions appear among friend groups. While I know there’s no ‘one American dialect’ and I can’t force my opinions on what communication is, I do know that the development of minimalist text message-like language on the web is about five steps back from the middle ages.

Here’s a selection of actual profile names:

Lookin Like A Star Bytch Wen U See Me Make A Wish
dats y yo moma suck my dick

Words of deep visceral meaning:
"wut up": 2,310,000
"alot" : 19,300,000
"luv" : 25,100,000
krazy: 704,000
wierd: 3,180,000
thier: 1,120,000

Your Best Physical Feature: ThE fAcT tHaT i LoOk LiKe A fRiCkIn TuRtLe!
Your Most Missed Memory: FiRsT iNtErGaLaCtIc BoNeR!
Pepsi or Coke: I dOnT dRiNk My OwN uRiNe AnYmOrE
MacDonalds or Burger King: I dOnT eAt ThE cRuStY bOoGeRs FrOm UnDeR My DeSk AnYmOrE
Single or Group Dates: CaN yOu Say MiNa-ShA-tWa?
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: TeA iS fOr PuSsIes!

Real Life, yo.

Filled With Goths? Sorta.
The established Goth population looks like roughly 20,805 from adding the ‘Goths’ and ‘Goth’ group together. The the more popular Goths Group has 12308 members while the less popular Goth Group has 8488 members; this equals about .023% of the population. Searches for "I am a goth" OR "I am goth" gave me only 677. Were so few ready to admit their pop social identity?

Probably due to musical references, occurences of the word "goth" was very high: 2,180,000, and results returned dropped to only 2,170,000 when I required that "goth music" be removed from the results. This means that only 10,000 were discussing the literal string "Goth music". Anti Goth sentiments hit only 366.

I mention "The Goth Problem" not because I believe it to be a real "problem", I just notice that Goths tend to screw up the internet by filling its limitless pages with poems describing how dark they are. Doesn’t the makeup smear when you cry? How do you sneak up on/strangle small animals with all those chains? But this is not the time nor place for such unanswerable questions. Moving on.

More at: http://moneydick.com/wordpress/2006/...ce-of-myspace/

Thanks, D.

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-23-2006, 06:42 AM
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Originally Posted by firstmb
April 23rd, 2006

dats y yo moma suck my dick
roflmao, cool username, but whats a 'moma'?

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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-23-2006, 05:16 PM
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i hate my space
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-23-2006, 05:26 PM
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Originally Posted by benz420
roflmao, cool username, but whats a 'moma'?
moma = momma.

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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-23-2006, 05:28 PM
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Thumbs down I Concur.

I agree with you. My Space is...a total waste.
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