Date registered: May 2005
Vehicle: 2009 BMW Z4, 2005 SLK 200, 2004 S 280
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70 virgins...some questions.
In the February 23rd issue of NEWSWEEK Thauria Hamur was interviewed by one of the magazine's international journalists, Joanna Chen. Ms. Hamur had been captured in May 2002, by the Israeli authorities before she had a chance to blow herself up in a pizza restaurant in south Jerusalem. One of the questions/answers in the formal interview was:
Chen - "Men are promised that'll become martyrs in paradise. As a woman, what were you promised?"
Hamur - "According to the Qur'an, God promised the martyrs a reward of 70 virgins, and those who die a martyr's death will be kept alive and sustained by God. Women martyrs are promised that they will become the purest and most beautiful form of angel at the highest level possible in heaven."
While Ms. Chen then wandered off into questions about how Ms. Hamur handled the moral issues of shredding fellow pizza lovers as well as herself, readers wanted to linger a bit longer on the afterlife.
P.R. from Brisbane, Australia asked: "About these 70 virgins ... ah ... what happens when, or after, you have used one of them? Is her virginity lost or does she revert to the Maker's Default Setting: Virginity?"
L.T. from Maidenhead, England wondered: "Though 70 is a pretty acceptable number if you are measuring ... say the time between early teens and the point when most men would just as soon settle down to a good read on the toilet ... but, it's not a big number when all of eternity stretches out in front of you. In fact that 70 is an infinitesimally small number. After the martyr has run through the first batch of 70 does he get a fresh supply? Or, does God just push the man's 'Reset' button ... after which the martyr gets his 'program' restarted from scratch without any memory of his prior trots?"
R.K. from Frankfurt, Germany wrote: "Assuming that there are lots of martyrs in heaven ... then there must be at least 70 times that number of virgins. Suppose martyr 'A' fancies a virgin belonging to martyr 'B' (and vice versa) can they swap?"
N.Z. from Niagara Falls, USA questioned: "Where does God get these virgins? Are they ripely plucked from the prettiest grown here on Earth or are they...rather like the audioanimatrons from the Disney works...made specifically for that one heavenly job?"
M.B. from Amsterdam, Holland mused: "I would suspect that these virgins might get pretty tired being laid by the same guy for eternity. What's God's position on allowing the girls to have a little fun among themselves?"
R.L. from Tokyo, Japan shifted gears with: "What exactly do you, as a woman, get out of the deal? Guys get 70 virgins while you wind up with being 'the purest and most beautiful form of angel at the highest level possible' ... Does this mean that you get to do it with God?
P.T. from Shanghai, China meowed: "Obviously if you had successfully blown yourself to bits God wouldn't want to put you back together again just like you were. From your picture in NEWSWEEK I'm guessing that the Big Man tipped off the Israelis as to what you were up to."
S.T. from Singapore wondered: "Following on P.T.'s speculation ... and getting back to the male martyrs ... what exactly does God do with the blown apart pieces? If the guy was a little short in the anatomy or if he had an erectile dysfunction does God refit him?"
S.W. from Avignon, France asked: "What if he prefers sheep? Or goats? Camels?"