Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-23-2006, 10:31 AM Thread Starter
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Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either." Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!" "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf,sailing, hiking, or bicycling? No, I don't," I said. He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" No," I said. "I don't do any of those things." He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit"

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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-23-2006, 10:58 AM
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RE: Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress

I heard it as :-

"Doc,I don't drink,smoke or fool with fast women or slow horses-Will I live to 100?"

'No,but it will sure feel like it'



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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-23-2006, 11:29 AM
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RE: Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress

Along that sliding vein...

Q: Do married men *really* live longer than single men?

A: No, it just seems like it. [:D][;)]
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-23-2006, 12:05 PM
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RE: Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress

^^^Married women live longer than their husbands so they can finally buy a pair (or 20) of shoes without hearing any shit.[:X][:D]
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-23-2006, 12:19 PM
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RE: Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress

Quote:
Jillian80 - 3/23/2006 2:05 PM

^^^Married women live longer than their husbands so they can finally buy a pair (or 20) of shoes without hearing any shit.[:X][:D]
how many pairs of shoes do you have ?

i have 4in total-one causal, one formal, one sandal and one party wear –that one, I gave to my guest dog to play with. I think he likes Italian leather.
Regards,
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[}:)][}:)][}:)]
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-23-2006, 12:26 PM
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RE: Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress

^^^ You have causal shoes? I guess that might help explain the avatar...[;)][:D]
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-23-2006, 01:16 PM
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RE: Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress

Quote:
Demon_possessed - 3/23/2006 1:19 PM

Quote:
Jillian80 - 3/23/2006 2:05 PM

^^^Married women live longer than their husbands so they can finally buy a pair (or 20) of shoes without hearing any shit.[:X][:D]
how many pairs of shoes do you have ?

i have 4in total-one causal, one formal, one sandal and one party wear –that one, I gave to my guest dog to play with. I think he likes Italian leather.
Regards,
Demon_possessed
[}:)][}:)][}:)]
I have around 100 pair if you count the sandals.[:0]

I know, it's a sickness. I need a 12 step program. Maybe I should ask KV...[;)]
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-23-2006, 02:18 PM
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RE: Hoo, you're a good crowd... tip your waitress

Quote:
Jillian80 - 3/24/2006 7:05 PM

^^^Married women live longer than their husbands so they can finally buy a pair (or 20) of shoes without hearing any shit.[:X][:D]
Nevermind hearing shit...............

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute redhead.He immediately turns to her and makes his move.
"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."
The redhead, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"
"Owkay," says the redhead. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff -- grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the redhead, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"


[;)][8D]
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