Bill Gates and General Motors. - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-23-2006, 01:05 PM Thread Starter
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Bill Gates and General Motors.

This may have already been posted,if so,apologies but I only heard it today and thought it was funny!

Bill Gates and General Motors

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that get 1,000 to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (From Mr. Welch himself): "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:"

For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car fault" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grab hold of the radio antenna.
GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Ran McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-23-2006, 01:19 PM
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RE: Bill Gates and General Motors.

Oldie but goodie:

After the Hugh Grant/Devine Brown incident that made the papers, Bill Gates called up Hugh Grant. Bill asked him "Was it really worth $50 to almost ruin your career?"

Hugh replied "Bill, actually it was worth a million".

So Bill called up Hughes' favorite prostitute, but since she became so famous, her prices had gone up quite a bit. So Bill paid $10,000 for a night with Divine.
In the morning he said, "That was fantastic! Now I know why professionally you call yourself 'Divine'".

She answered "Thank you, and now I know why you call your company Microsoft."



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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-23-2006, 04:24 PM
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RE: Bill Gates and General Motors.

The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.


“The thing is Bob, its not that I’m lazy….. Its that I just don’t care” <img src="" border=0>
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