Date registered: Jan 2005
Vehicle: 1992 W126 300 SE
Location: Head in the clouds
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
RE: best excuse for calling in sick?
Anyone ever worked for a company like this? :-
NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY
Frequent absenteeism has forced introduction of the following changes, effective immediately.
No excuse for absence. We will not accept your doctors certificate as proof, if you are able to go to the doctor you are able to come to work.
If you are unable to visit your doctor you will have to be prepared to submit to a thorough examination by your departmental or branch manager at your home on the day you report sick.
DEATH (other than your own)
This is no excuse. Their is nothing you can do for the deceased, and we are sure that someone else in a lesser position can afford to attend to the arrangements.
However, if the funeral can be held late in the afternoon we will be glad to let you you off 10 minutes early - provided your work is sufficiently advanced to keep the job going in your absence.
LEAVE FOR AN OPERATION
This is no excuse. We will no longer allow this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts you may have about needing an operation. We believe that as long as you are employed here you will need all of whatever organs you have and you should not consider having anything removed. We employed for what you were, and to have anything removed would certainly be less than we bargained for.
(Note: An exception will be made for warts.)
DEATH (your own)
This will be accepted as an excuse. But, we would like 2 weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job.
Entirely too much time is being spent in toilets. In future we will follow alphabetical order. e;g (those whose surnames begin with "A" will go from 9:00am to 9:10am."B" from 9:10am to 9:20am. And so on).
IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO GO AT THE ALLOTTED TIME IT WILL BE NECESSARY TO WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT DAY WHEN YOUR TURN COMES AGAIN.