Date registered: Nov 2005
Location: 1313 Mockingbird lane
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A few jokes
Two flies are sitting on a piece of sh--. One fly farts. The other one says, "Do you mind? I'm trying to eat."
Four nuns are trying to get into heaven. They approach St. Peter and he asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" She says, "Yes, I did touch one with my finger one time." He says, "That's okay, just rinse your finger in the holy water and you can come in." St. Peter asks the second nun, "Did you ever touch a penis?" The nun says, "Yes, I touched it with my hand." He says, "That's okay. Just rinse your hand in the holy
water and you can come in." Suddenly, the fourth nun says, "If you think I'm going to gargle with that after she sticks her ass in it, you're crazy!"
A lady goes to a gynecologist. The doctor says to her, "You have a very large vagina. You have a very large vagina." The lady says, "You don't have to say it twice." The doctor said, "I didn't."
Why do Canadians do it doggie style? So they can both watch the hockey game.
How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb? What are you, a f---ing cop?
A guy is at a bar and he's really drunk and he's worried about going home to his wife. So his friend says to him, "You know, if you don't want your wife to get really mad at you, as soon as you go home, make love to her like you never have before." The man decides to take his advice, and as soon as he gets home, he jumps on his wife and makes love to her fast and furious like a wild man. Then he goes into the bathroom and sees his wife who
says to him, "SSShhhhhh, be quiet! My mother's sleeping in our room."
They say men have a sexual thought every ten seconds. I have no problem with that. It's that dead air in between I hate. I spend that time planning my next sexual thought.