Date registered: Jun 2005
Vehicle: 2016 C300 4MATIC
Location: Toronto GTA, Ontario, Canada
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
RE: A few jokes
Here's a couple for tonight.
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife...
"Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final!"
"Do I have to go fishing with you? I really don't want to go!"
"Okay, I'll give you three choices:
1 - You come fishing with me and the dog
2 - You give me a blow job, or
3 - You take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
Wife I've given you three options, you'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm
going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I
expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes
"Well, what have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind. "OK, I'll
give you a blow job"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the
business. She stops and looks up at her husband.
"This tastes absolutely disgusting. It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes," says her husband "the dog didn't want to go fishing either."
There was a fly on a branch about 6 inches above a river... A fish in the river
thought, "If that fly dropped down 6 inches I would eat it."
A bear standing on the river bank saw the fish and thought, "If that fly dropped
6 inches, that fish would jump, and I would grab it and eat the fish."
A hunter, eating a cheese sandwich back in the woods a ways, saw the bear and
thought, "If that fly dropped 6 inches, the fish would jump,the bear would grab
it and I would shoot the bear."
A mouse in the grass saw the hunter and thought, "If that fly dropped 6 inches,
the fish would jump, the bear would grab it, the hunter would drop his sandwich,
shoot the bear and I would eat the cheese."
A cat saw the mouse and thought, "If the fly drops 6 inches, the fish would
jump, the bear would reach, the hunter would drop his sandwich,the mouse would
eat the cheese and I would eat the mouse."
And then it happened. .....
The fly dropped, the fish jumped, the bear grabbed the fish,
the hunter dropped his sandwich to shoot the bear,
the mouse ran to the sandwich to eat the cheese,
and the cat pounced on the mouse and ate it.
... And the moral of this story???
Any time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets satisfied.
2005 C230 Komp; 2008 BMW 335xi; 2012 C350 4MATIC