Another use for Duck tape... - Page 3 - Mercedes-Benz Forum

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-09-2006, 09:33 AM
deathrattle's Avatar
Date registered: Jan 2005
Vehicle: 1992 W126 300 SE
Location: Head in the clouds
Posts: 11,045
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
RE: Another use for Duck tape...


Ok that was pretty lame.Here's one for the Audi appreciation society.

A German asks a prostitute for sex and she tells him it's 20 dollars. "Fine" he says, "but I'm a bit kinky". She agrees that this is OK as long as he doesn't do anything violent.

They get back to her flat and he gets out four big springs attached to some straps. "I want you to put one of these on each elbow and one on each knee" he asks.

The prostitute is worried that she's getting into something a bit heavy, but she goes along with his request. Then she is told to get down on all fours, naked, in front of him which she does grudgingly. Then he asks her to start bouncing up and down on the springs and finally he takes a duck call whistle from his pocket. "Blow on this while I'm shagging you" he tells her.

So he's banging away at her from behind while she's bouncing on the springs blowing the duck whistle. Suddenly she starts to enjoy the shagging, so much so in fact that she experiences the most fantastic orgasm she's ever had.

After they've finished she says "Wow, that was the most fantastic sex I've had in 25 years on the game, how the hell did you make it so good?"

"Ah," the German replies. "Foursprung Duck Technique".

deathrattle is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-09-2006, 09:37 AM
worst mod in BW history
ThrillKill's Avatar
Date registered: Apr 2005
Vehicle: ML CLK Iridescent Hyundai Accent lol,GoPed Freightshaker & Volvo semi's, c'mawn?
Location: Chicago
Posts: 27,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
RE: Another use for Duck tape...

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck"

"I see you're eyes are working" replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.

"I see you're ears are working" says the duck, "now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly," says the landlord, " sorry about that, it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for about 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ring leader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him; "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous" says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The landlord says, "Hey Mr Duck. I reckon I can line you up with a top job. Paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus" says the landlord.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right" replies the landlord.

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle

"That's right!" says the landlord.

The duck looks confused. "What the fuck do they want with a plasterer?"

ThrillKill is offline  
post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 02-09-2006, 09:51 AM
BenzWorld Elite
Naomilla2.0's Avatar
Date registered: Nov 2003
Vehicle: 1988 560SEL sold:
Location: Level 42
Posts: 4,717
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
RE: Another use for Duck tape...



Naomilla2.0 is offline  
Sponsored Links

  Mercedes-Benz Forum > General Mercedes-Benz Forums > Off-Topic

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mercedes-Benz Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


  • Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
    Thread Tools
    Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
    Email this Page Email this Page
    Display Modes
    Linear Mode Linear Mode

    Posting Rules  
    You may post new threads
    You may post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are On
    Pingbacks are On
    Refbacks are On


    Title goes here

    video goes here
    description goes here. Read Full Story
    For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome