Date registered: Mar 2004
Vehicle: 2000 ml 430
Location: longview, texas
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?
i hesitated to comment at first, but just couldnt help it.
as a father of soon-to-be 19 yr old twins who are freshman at texas A&M, divorced from their mother 3+ years, my view is somewhat jaded. My 3rd (!!) wife of 2+ yrs, who is also my age, has 2 girls, 29, and 31 yrs old. I think she would agree with this:
having kids will definitely punch a 20-25 year hole in your life. at times, its great; other times you wonder. conscientious parenting is a DAUNTING responsibility. it's at least 50% guessing whats the 'best' thing to do. the 'rewards' can be incredible, but so can the disappointments.
its EXPENSIVE, so get ready. i suppose this is not a factor if you are independently wealthy already.
ultimately, do you want to spend your last years alone, with no family except possibly some younger siblings, if any?
the price you pay is lots of gray hair and wrinkles, but those come anyway, just a little sooner. several years ago Esquire magazine tallied the cost of having 1 kid: $250,000. and that was SEVERAL years ago. but like my dad said, 'your money wont love you back'. but they may not 'love you back' the way you hoped for.....
when (if??) they finally grow up and move out, you get to start having 'adult' fun again, if you have, or can find, the 'right' partner. later when they have their own rug-rats, you get to laugh a LOT. but you also start worrying again about THEIR parenting skills. and the cycle starts again.
last, some people consider adults who choose not to have children as selfish, self-centered, hedonistic people. I dont. i see them as people who get to retire early, and spend some time with their nieces and nephews, take long expensive vacations, drive nice cars, live in nice homes.
in other words, TOUGH CALL!!!!
my mom has a PhD in Family Relations and Child Development; about 20 years ago i asked her "why do people have children?" she said "nobody knows....."