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post #31 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 04:47 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

430, Nicely put.

It is true that the world will revolve around the kid for quite a while.

Mine is an extreme case of life changed after the birth of a baby. My life has been revolving around my daughter for over three years now - I quit work to stay at home with her and will plan to do so for at least another two years until I go back full-time.

Even though I spend almost every waking hour of the day with her, it is amazing how kids grow fast. Remember, you only have exactly one chance to see each child grow. There are sacrifices mainly in the area of spontaneity as 430 noted, but most parents learn to accommodate conflicting aspects of two different lifestyles and carry on.

I wasn't particularly fond of kids prior to my daughter's arrival and remain much the same even after, but one's own kid is definitely special.





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post #32 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 04:48 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

Quote:
Marsden - 1/19/2006 6:38 PM

Totally agree with what 430 just said. Most people who have children should NOT. Just make sure you're in the other group before you do. Good luck whichever way it goes.
Are you saying you want me to disappear? I shouldn't have been born?[V]

That means you shouldn't have been born either.[;)][}:)]

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post #33 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 04:49 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

Quote:
asianml - 1/19/2006 3:48 PM

Quote:
Marsden - 1/19/2006 6:38 PM

Totally agree with what 430 just said. Most people who have children should NOT. Just make sure you're in the other group before you do. Good luck whichever way it goes.
Are you saying you want me to disappear? I shouldn't have been born?[V]

That means you shouldn't have been born either.[;)][}:)]
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post #34 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 04:57 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

Hmm.... Asian you are reading that all wrong... Do your parents treat you bad? Hope not..

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post #35 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 05:01 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

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ttaleric - 1/19/2006 6:57 PM

Hmm.... Asian you are reading that all wrong... Do your parents treat you bad? Hope not..
Nope. If they treated me badly, do you think I would be spending so much time on BenzWorld?[:D][;)][}:)][:D][:D][:p]

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post #36 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 05:01 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

Quote:
asianml - 1/19/2006 6:48 PM
Are you saying you want me to disappear?
Well, I hadn't thought about it.

But now that I've thought about it, I want you to make Saigon disappear.

And bring back Golddigger while you're at it.
[:)]

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post #37 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 06:30 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

Lets hear it for the other side of the coin. Just to play devil's advocate, of course.

My wife and I don't have kids. I get my fix with my nieces and nephews. Feed 'em chocolate, wind them up and go home at the end of the day. My brothers got 2 daughters and a son. He hasn't had any "fun" with his wife in a long time. All those bedroom things she did in college she does not do anymore. She also put on ltos of pregnancy weight. With three kids and a stay at home mom, he is living pay check to pay check. Worst of all, she made him buy a MINIVAN. This seems to be standard issue for all my child rearing friends and family.

Meanwhile, we sleep in late on the weekend. We eat ice cream for breakfast if we feel like it. Our money is not going to retirement, rather it is going into early retirement and a new diesel MB. We go out to dinner often, and can plan elaborate vacations.

All that I'm saying is think it out.
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post #38 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 07:41 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

This is a sensitive subject. I will tell you what has worked well for my wife and I.

My wife was a career woman. She made more money than I did. While we were dating she put her finger in my chest one day and said, "By the way, when I start having babies I am going to stay home with them and you will support us." (Not really in that way...we agreed that it was our plan.)

So we set out with a division of labor strategy in our home. I was in charge of making the money, she was in charge of taking care of the kids.

I RARELY showed up bleary eyed to work, because my wife was up all night with the kids...not me. My co-workers with working spouses could not keep up.

I now earn more than double our previous COMBINED incomes, thanks to our team approach. My wife's half is more than she ever made working outside the home. We have 3 daughters between 3 and 7 and it works for us. My wife will probably ease jump back in with the adults when the kids are older- if she wants to.

My personal feeling is why the hell get married if not to have kids? They are my reason for living. My wife and I love them more than we love each other and we joyfully acknowledge it.

Ever see "City Slickers"? There is a scene where the grizzled cowboy says something about how life is all about "one thing". What is that "one thing"? It is what you decide it is going to be. Deciding that your family is that "one thing" is a liberating choice. Kids don't limit your horizons by any stretch of the imagination.






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post #39 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-19-2006, 08:25 PM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

That was really well put. Good job. [:)]

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post #40 of 86 (permalink) Old 01-20-2006, 04:15 AM
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RE: OT : Should I have kids?

Quote:
Benz4Dirt&Sky - 1/19/2006 9:41 PM

This is a sensitive subject. I will tell you what has worked well for my wife and I.

My wife was a career woman. She made more money than I did. While we were dating she put her finger in my chest one day and said, "By the way, when I start having babies I am going to stay home with them and you will support us." (Not really in that way...we agreed that it was our plan.)

So we set out with a division of labor strategy in our home. I was in charge of making the money, she was in charge of taking care of the kids.

I RARELY showed up bleary eyed to work, because my wife was up all night with the kids...not me. My co-workers with working spouses could not keep up.

I now earn more than double our previous COMBINED incomes, thanks to our team approach. My wife's half is more than she ever made working outside the home. We have 3 daughters between 3 and 7 and it works for us. My wife will probably ease jump back in with the adults when the kids are older- if she wants to.

My personal feeling is why the hell get married if not to have kids? They are my reason for living. My wife and I love them more than we love each other and we joyfully acknowledge it.

Ever see "City Slickers"? There is a scene where the grizzled cowboy says something about how life is all about "one thing". What is that "one thing"? It is what you decide it is going to be. Deciding that your family is that "one thing" is a liberating choice. Kids don't limit your horizons by any stretch of the imagination.




Amen brother Benz!
I like the City Slickers quote!! If that didnt get throgh to our good friend Boco then he is a lost puppy!

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