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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-01-2006, 01:45 PM Thread Starter
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Blonde jokes

Hi i know there are a lot of blonde jokes floating out there in the world. Just thought u might want to share yours. Ill start with one of mine:

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever

What does a blonde do when she wakes up?
Puts her clothes on and goes home


[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-01-2006, 01:47 PM Thread Starter
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RE: Blonde jokes

Just thought of another one:

Why did God make blondes?
To bring him his beer
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Why did God create brunetes?
so the brunete can show where the fridge is to the blond
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-01-2006, 02:14 PM
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RE: Blonde jokes

Here's an oldie....What do you call a naked blonde doing headstands?

A brunette with bad breath.
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-01-2006, 07:29 PM
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RE: Blonde jokes

Q: What do you call an unmarried blonde in a BMW?

A: Divorcée

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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 04:56 AM
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RE: Blonde jokes

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 06:58 AM
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RE: Blonde jokes

Blonde left an office party pretty stoned,was bobbing and weaving on the road,didn't take a cop long to spot and pull her over.

Officer looks at her license,asks her to exit the vehicle and whips out his flapdoodle,blond covers her face with her hands and sez"oh,no,not another breathalyzer test,I had 3 already".
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 07:01 AM
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RE: Blonde jokes

How to drown a blond??

Place scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the swimming pool.

Wave at her while she's swimming.

Tell her to go snort some Coke.
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 09:36 AM
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RE: Blonde jokes

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing?

I told her that I was a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked " What are you doing ?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her " ..

And where do you think you're going?"

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She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"


- Jason



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'64 Land Rover IIa
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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 09:38 AM
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RE: Blonde jokes

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do blondes and cow s**t have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.

- Jason



'61 Mercedes 220SEb coupe
'64 Land Rover IIa
'83 Mercedes 500SL
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 09:41 AM
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RE: Blonde jokes

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"



The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

(Thought there might be some attractive ones on the forum[;)])

- Jason



'61 Mercedes 220SEb coupe
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