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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 06:48 AM
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RE: -Joke Thread-

A blonde walks into a store and notices a shiny cylindrical object. "What is that?", she asks the salesman. "It's a thermos", he replies. "What does it do?", she asks. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold",he replies. So she buys it.
Next day she shows up to work with the thermos and her best freind sees it and asks,"What is that?". "It's a thermos", says the blonde. "What does it do?" says the freind?", "it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold", she replies. "What do you have in there?" the freind says. "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle".

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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 08:02 PM
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RE: -Joke Thread-

A blond and brunette are in an elevator when a businessman with bad dandruff gets on. They ride a couple of floors and he gets off. The brunette says, "He needs head and shoulders." The blond asked, "How do you give shoulders?"
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 08:08 PM Thread Starter
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RE: -Joke Thread-

Quote:
Scorpio Oct.22-Nov.21
You are shrewd in business and cannot be
trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of
your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpios are murdered.
omg, i'm a scorpio!!!!!

2002 Mercedes-Benz ML320 (sold)
2011 Chrysler Town & Country
2008 Toyota Camry Hybrid
2003 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic
2002 Jaguar X-Type 2.5

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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-04-2005, 08:39 PM
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RE: -Joke Thread-

Quote:
Naomilla2.0 - 11/4/2005 1:00 AM

************************************************** **********************
Gemini May 21-June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. Most
people like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined
to expect too much for too little. In other words, you are cheap bastard.
Geminis are known for committing incest.
************************************************** **********************
Oh, shit! I just realized I was Gemini. I can explain . . .

I'm bisexual! I like 2 women at once.
I do expect a lot for my money. Why do you think I got my ML for wholesale?
Yep, the incest thing is right on target. I had sex with my mother-in-law's daughter.
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-05-2005, 11:36 AM
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RE: -Joke Thread-


I have a suspicion that this might be more appropriate for the 126 forum,but nevermind:

Two fellas from rural Minnesota walked into a pet shop in Minneapolis. They head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem."
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven.
The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of the big cliffs by a lake. At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the
100-foot drop and says: "Dis looks like a grand place."
He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole shakes his head and says: "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."
BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE!
PART TWO:
Moments later, Knut arrives up at the cliffs. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
"Hey, Ole. Watch dis," Knut says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the
cliff. Ole watches as half way down, Knut takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Knut continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."
BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE!
PART THREE:
Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock
and breaks his spine. Once more, Ole shakes his head.....

"First der was Sven with his budgie jumping.... den Knut
parrotshooting.... and now Lars is hengliding!"

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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-05-2005, 11:44 AM
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RE: -Joke Thread-

You should be pelted with rocks and rotten produce!

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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-05-2005, 12:13 PM
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RE: -Joke Thread-

^^^^^

I knew you would like that one.

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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-05-2005, 08:59 PM
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RE: -Joke Thread-

Have you guy's heard that it's possible to get A.I.D.S. from a toilet seat











You just have to sit down before the other guy gets up[:D]
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-06-2005, 03:56 AM
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RE: -Joke Thread-

Quote:
Aries Mar.21-Apr.19
You are the pioneer type and hold most people
in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of
advice. You are a pain on the neck.
me aries [:(]

Fuel economy!! whats that??
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-07-2005, 08:20 PM
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RE: -Joke Thread-

A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.

The flight attendant looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
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