Ronnie Barker - a really funny bastard!! - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-18-2005, 11:48 PM Thread Starter
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Ronnie Barker - a really funny bastard!!

Just received this - laughed my arse off!!.
Thank God for UK tv channel, where his brilliant humour will always have a home.

Subject: A Tribute to Ronnie Barker- Superstar

This was originally shown on on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes) Irony is that they recieved not one complaint. must have been the speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds.
try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read;

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper. The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-19-2005, 12:00 AM
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RE: Ronnie Barker - a really funny bastard!!

excellent..........whoever came up with that had some originality...
post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-19-2005, 03:21 AM
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RE: Ronnie Barker - a really funny bastard!!

That script,if it is original Barker,was never aired on BBC.The one that was used was far far tamer.
He was certainly a funny guy though.Not as 'funny' as his son though,recently revealed to be a kiddie fiddler.


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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-19-2005, 06:12 AM
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RE: Ronnie Barker - botally tucking bunny fastard!!

Was he one of the "two ronnies"? That took me about 45 minutes to read as I was translating as I went.

Ok, found it:

I remember he did this bit where he was the minister of energy instructing on how to make your home more efficient. He had a cut-away graphic of a house and said,"Now, what is wrong with this house?, Well for one thing, there's a bloody great hole in it, isn't there?" I fell off my chair.

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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-20-2005, 03:38 AM
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RE: Ronnie Barker - a really funny bastard!!

hahahha.. very funyy..nice!!

Fuel economy!! whats that??
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