Feminists....... An italian, A scotsman and a Chinese...... Office Dares?
At the 2004 World Women's Conference the first speaker, a English lady stood up.
"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him, he would have to do it himself. After the first two days I saw no change, but by the third I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."
The crowd cheered.
The second speaker from America stood up and told the conference that she had said a similar thing to her husband about the laundry. With delight she told the assembly that within three days she saw that her hubby had done not only his washing but hers as well.
The third speaker, this time from Australia, stood up.
"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I was going to be assertive in future and so I would no longer do his shopping.
After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing, but after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.
He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect You guys to make a dent in that pile of sand."
So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours, the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."
The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent. Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!!"
ONE POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".
4) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I prefer it this way".
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
4) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
4) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
5)In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
6) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".
7) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
8) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
9) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.
And if that wasn't enough for you...
1) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
2) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."
3) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
5) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.