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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-15-2005, 10:02 AM Thread Starter
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speeding motorist says aliens to blame


Speeding motorist says aliens to blame
By Lester Haines

Published Thursday 2nd December 2004 15:28 GMT(Britain)

The Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership, aka "Safe speed for life" has just published its top 10 excuses for geting nobbled by a speed, sorry, safety camera. Top of the list is alien-induced trance, closely followed by blaming excessive velocity on a passing aircraft. The list is culled from the letters received by fixed-penalty units in which motorists attempt to extricate themselves from copping a fine for speeding.

Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership manager Ray King said: "Some drivers seem to think that if they tell a good enough story then they will get off, which unfortunately rarely works. It is quite amazing the lengths some drivers will go to to avoid £60 and three points, when really the alternative is extremely simple - keep within the speed limit."

Quite so - just like the driver of the 406mph Peugeot we reported on back in January, who should have known better than to push his petrol-driven rocket beyond the limits of credulity for the benefit of the cameras.

But we digress. The top ten list is:
1. I had passed out after seeing flashing lights, which I believed to be UFOs in the distance. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance.
2. I was in the airport’s flight path and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car.
3. I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet.
4. There was a strong wind behind my car which pushed me over the limit.
5. My friend had just chopped his fingers off and I was rushing the fingers to hospital.
6. The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the camera.
7. I had to rush my dying hamster to the vets.
8. A violent sneeze caused a chain reaction where my foot pushed down harder on the accelerator.
9. There was a suspected case of foot and mouth and I had to rush to see the cow concerned.
10. The only way I could demonstrate my faulty clutch was to accelerate madly.

Good stuff. Might we suggest, though, that there is an absolute cracker missing from this litany of shame: "I saw the chief constable in charge of traffic for Greater Manchester go past me at 104mph and decided to give chase and effect a citizen's arrest." Yup, it works for us. ®

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-15-2005, 10:07 AM
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RE: speeding motorist says aliens to blame

Hey, is this just you testing the waters for your excuse to the DPS?

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

-President Barack Obama, 1st Inaugural address
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-15-2005, 10:09 AM
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RE: speeding motorist says aliens to blame

Quote:
Quite so - just like the driver of the 406mph Peugeot we reported on back in January
i would trash AMG for a 406 MPH pegout!! hahha

Fuel economy!! whats that??
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-15-2005, 10:11 AM Thread Starter
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RE: speeding motorist says aliens to blame

Quote:
kvining - 7/15/2005 12:07 PM

Hey, is this just you testing the waters for your excuse to the DPS?
[:D]
yeha trying to find sonething man ...
hey kev what about your trip man keep up posted!take care

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-15-2005, 10:14 AM
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RE: speeding motorist says aliens to blame

yeah so what did you find out? Any tickets you got while someone else might have driven your car?
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-18-2005, 04:00 AM
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RE: speeding motorist says aliens to blame

when u r speeding and a cop behind you tell you to park the car on the side.. illumnate ur brake light.. this will make him feel ur brakes dont work..

offcourse u will have to hack ur car electrical system and hook a switch to activate the brake lights without actually usin the brake [:D]

Fuel economy!! whats that??
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 07-18-2005, 09:41 AM
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RE: speeding motorist says aliens to blame

In all seriousness, be really nice, exceedingly nice and admit to what your your being pulled over for if it is obvious. Cops really have heard it all. They hate lies just like the rest of us. If you think it is unfair, and your about to sign the ticket, then let loose. Ruin the pigs night. Imply what a crap sourse of bullshit taxation it is, and that he would be better served citing people for driving too slow in the left hand lane. That usually works, at least for the receiver of the ticket. Oh yea, stop taunting him when he threatens to take you to jail. Then just smile real big and show him you know it is a big game.

Also, to prevent being pulled over, you could invest in an ex-cop car that still has all the regalia and fools most of the law and common folk alike most of the time!
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