And now for something completely different.......... - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 02:08 PM Thread Starter
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And now for something completely different..........

The guy who used to work on my old Airens told me "Man, this is the same model I used to race in Wisconsin". I thought he was pulling my leg.

http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/3692182?GT1=6555

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 02:21 PM
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RE: And now for something completely different..........

Great thread!

http://www.tisinc99.com/montypythons.html
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 02:24 PM Thread Starter
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RE: And now for something completely different..........

.......The cheese shop sketch.....

http://www.soundamerica.com/sounds/comedy/Monty_Python/A-L/cheesshp.wav

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 06:19 PM
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RE: And now for something completely different..........

Quote:
ThrillKill - 6/25/2005 4:24 PM

.......The cheese shop sketch.....

http://www.soundamerica.com/sounds/comedy/Monty_Python/A-L/cheesshp.wav
Four Yorkshiremen.

Michael:
Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.

Graham:
Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier, eh Josiah?

Terry J:
You're right there Obediah.

Eric:
Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier?

Michael:
Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

Graham:
A cup o' COLD tea.

Eric:
Without milk or sugar.

Terry J:
OR tea!

Michael:
In a cracked cup, and all.

Eric:
We never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

Graham:
The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

Terry J:
But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

Michael:
Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."

Eric:
'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.

Graham:
House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing and we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!

Terry J:
You were lucky to have a ROOM! We used to have to live in a corridor!

Michael:
Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.

Eric:
Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpolin, it was a house to US.

Graham:
We were evicted from our hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!

Terry J:
You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road.

Michael:
Cardboard box?

Terry J:
Aye.

Michael:
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down the mill for fourteen hours a day week in week out, for sixpence a week. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

Graham:
Luxury! We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, work twenty hour a day at the mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!

Terry J:
Well of course, we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

Eric:
Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our Mother would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."

Michael:
And you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.

All:
They won't..
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 08:04 PM
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RE: And now for something completely different..........

Or this one. reminds me of our Supreme Court.
Bot

VILLAGER #1:
We have found a witch. May we burn her?

CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!

BEDEVERE:
How do you know she is a witch?

VILLAGER #2:
She looks like one.

CROWD:
Right! Yeah! Yeah!

BEDEVERE:
Bring her forward.

WITCH:
I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

BEDEVERE:
Uh, but you are dressed as one.

WITCH:
They dressed me up like this.

CROWD:
Augh, we didn't! We didn't...

WITCH:
And this isn't my nose. It's a false one.

BEDEVERE:
Well?

VILLAGER #1:
Well, we did do the nose.

BEDEVERE:
The nose?

VILLAGER #1:
And the hat, but she is a witch!

VILLAGER #2:
Yeah!

CROWD:
We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!

BEDEVERE:
Did you dress her up like this?

VILLAGER #1:
No!

VILLAGER #2 and 3:
No. No.

VILLAGER #2:
No.

VILLAGER #1:
No.

VILLAGERS #2 and #3:
No.

VILLAGER #1:
Yes.

VILLAGER #2:
Yes.

VILLAGER #1:
Yes. Yeah, a bit.

VILLAGER #3:
A bit.

VILLAGERS #1 and #2:
A bit.

VILLAGER #3:
A bit.

VILLAGER #1:
She has got a wart.

RANDOM:
[cough]

BEDEVERE:
What makes you think she is a witch?

VILLAGER #3:
Well, she turned me into a newt.

BEDEVERE:
A newt?

VILLAGER #3:
I got better.

VILLAGER #2:
Burn her anyway!

VILLAGER #1:
Burn!

CROWD:
Burn her! Burn! Burn her!...

BEDEVERE:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

VILLAGER #1:
Are there?

VILLAGER #2:
Ah?

VILLAGER #1:
What are they?

CROWD:
Tell us! Tell us!...

BEDEVERE:
Tell me. What do you do with witches?

VILLAGER #2:
Burn!

VILLAGER #1:
Burn!

CROWD:
Burn! Burn them up! Burn!..

BEDEVERE:
And what do you burn apart from witches?

VILLAGER #1:
More witches!

VILLAGER #3:
Shh!

VILLAGER #2:
Wood!

BEDEVERE:
So, why do witches burn?

[pause]

VILLAGER #3:
B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?

BEDEVERE:
Good! Heh heh.

CROWD:
Oh, yeah. Oh.

BEDEVERE:
So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?

VILLAGER #1:
Build a bridge out of her.


BEDEVERE:
Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

VILLAGER #1:
Oh, yeah.

RANDOM:
Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...

BEDEVERE:
Does wood sink in water?

VILLAGER #1:
No. No.

VILLAGER #2:
No, it floats! It floats!

VILLAGER #1:
Throw her into the pond!

CROWD:
The pond! Throw her into the pond!

BEDEVERE:
What also floats in water?

VILLAGER #1:
Bread!

VILLAGER #2:
Apples!

VILLAGER #3:
Uh, very small rocks!

VILLAGER #1:
Cider!

VILLAGER #2:
Uh, gra-- gravy!

VILLAGER #1:
Cherries!

VILLAGER #2:
Mud!

VILLAGER #3:
Uh, churches! Churches!

VILLAGER #2:
Lead! Lead!

ARTHUR:
A duck!

CROWD:
Oooh.

BEDEVERE:
Exactly. So, logically...

VILLAGER #1:
If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.

BEDEVERE:
And therefore?

VILLAGER #2:
A witch!

VILLAGER #1:
A witch!

CROWD:
A witch! A witch!...

VILLAGER #4:
Here is a duck. Use this duck.
[quack quack quack]

BEDEVERE:
Very good. We shall use my largest scales.

CROWD:
Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh...

BEDEVERE:
Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]

CROWD:
A witch! A witch! A witch!

WITCH:
It's a fair cop.

VILLAGER #3:
Burn her!

CROWD:
Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!...

BEDEVERE:
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

ARTHUR:
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.


BEDEVERE:
My liege!


ARTHUR:
Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Camelot and join us at the Round Table?


BEDEVERE:
My liege! I would be honored.

ARTHUR:
What is your name?

BEDEVERE:
'Bedevere', my liege.


ARTHUR:
Then I dub you 'Sir Bedevere, Knight of the Round Table'.









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