The things I have learned in life - Page 7 - Mercedes-Benz Forum

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #61 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 03:18 PM
BenzWorld Member
 
gnomo's Avatar
 
Date registered: Jul 2005
Posts: 249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
RE: The things I have learned in life

If your dishes start smelling bad and you still don't feel like washing them, put them in the freezer.
gnomo is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #62 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 03:29 PM
worst mod in BW history
 
ThrillKill's Avatar
 
Date registered: Apr 2005
Vehicle: ML CLK Iridescent Hyundai Accent lol,GoPed Freightshaker & Volvo semi's, c'mawn?
Location: Chicago
Posts: 27,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
RE: The things I have learned in life

Quote:
gnomo - 7/24/2005 4:18 PM

If your dishes start smelling bad and you still don't feel like washing them, put them in the freezer.
Ok smartass, then where am I gonna put the cat?

ThrillKill is offline  
post #63 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 03:48 PM
BenzWorld Elite
 
Date registered: Sep 2004
Vehicle: 95 E300
Location: Inside my head
Posts: 36,850
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 392 Post(s)
RE: The things I have learned in life

Pull the monkey out of the toilet, stick it in the freezer, flush the cat down the toilet. Voila!

Once, I went to a pet store that sold monkeys. This was a good idea, because they sold monkeys for ninety-nine cents apiece. I realized that this was a screaming good deal and purchased one-hundred monkeys. I knew that I had made a good decision on the drive home, when the monkeys screetched and punched each other in the genitals. I thought this was hilariously funny and started laughing. That was, until one of the monkeys punched me in the genitals, nearly crashing the car and killing all of us. God, I hate monkeys. I decided to name him Sigmund, because he reminded me of this retarded kid named Sigmund that I knew in high school. I got the monkeys home safely and realized that my apartment had no sleeping arrangements for 100 monkeys. I knew that Jesus would help me, so I just went to sleep. When I woke up, all the monkeys were dead. I was upset. I now knew why the goddamn monkeys were so fucking cheap in the first place. I knew that I had to get rid of the monkeys because of various wildlife bylaws and such regarding monkey disposal, I just didn't know HOW to get rid of 100 dead monkeys. I put two of them in the freezer, after removing all of my ice cream so that they would fit. I tried flushing one down the toilet, with all the rest to follow, but it got stuck. I pulled the soaking wet monkey out of the toilet. I then decided that there was no easy way to dispose of 100 dead monkeys, especially when you have one soaking wet monkey, two frozen monkeys and 97 dead, monkey carcasses. I tried putting the wet monkey in the oven to dry it off, but I just burned it instead. By this time, all the other monkey corpses were starting to smell. I had 97 dead, smelly monkey carcasses, one wet and burned monkey carcass and two frozen dead monkey corpses. I was upset. I ****ing hate monkeys. I then decided to bite the bullet and call city waste disposal. They told me that I would be charged a fee of $2.08 per monkey corpse that I disposed of. This REALLY pissed me off, because I only paid 99 cents per monkey carcass to begin with. I was terribly upset, until I realized I had jerkoff friends that suck at life. Guess what I did?

I gave all the monkeys away as Christmas presents. That's what I did with 100 dead monkeys. God, I love monkeys.

Botnst is offline  
post #64 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 04:10 PM
worst mod in BW history
 
ThrillKill's Avatar
 
Date registered: Apr 2005
Vehicle: ML CLK Iridescent Hyundai Accent lol,GoPed Freightshaker & Volvo semi's, c'mawn?
Location: Chicago
Posts: 27,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
RE: The things I have learned in life

I'm sorry for your loss. To bad you didn't have time to teach them how to smoke. Ha,ha......Smoking monkeys are funny.

ThrillKill is offline  
post #65 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 05:37 PM
BenzWorld Elite
 
Date registered: Sep 2004
Vehicle: 95 E300
Location: Inside my head
Posts: 36,850
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 392 Post(s)
RE: The things I have learned in life

Quote:
ThrillKill - 7/24/2005 6:10 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. To bad you didn't have time to teach them how to smoke. Ha,ha......Smoking monkeys are funny.
Walking down the street
We get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet.
テつ*
Hey, hey we're the Monkees,
and people say we monkey around.
But we're too busy singing,
to put anybody down.
テつ*
We go wherever we want to,
Do what we like to do.
We don't have time to get restless,
There's always something new.
テつ*
Hey, hey we're the Monkees,
and people say we monkey around.
But we're too busy singing,
to put anybody down.
テつ*
We're just trying to be friendly,
Come watch us sing and play.
We're the young generation,
And we got something to say.
テつ*
Hey, hey we're the Monkees,
You never know where we'll be found.
So you'd better get ready,
We may be comin to your town.
テつ*
Hey, hey we're the Monkees,
and people say we monkey around.
But we're too busy singing,
to put anybody down.
Botnst is offline  
post #66 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 06:23 PM
worst mod in BW history
 
ThrillKill's Avatar
 
Date registered: Apr 2005
Vehicle: ML CLK Iridescent Hyundai Accent lol,GoPed Freightshaker & Volvo semi's, c'mawn?
Location: Chicago
Posts: 27,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
RE: The things I have learned in life

Aren't they supposed to come first?

ThrillKill is offline  
post #67 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-25-2005, 01:49 PM
BenzWorld Senior Member
 
Demon_possessed's Avatar
 
Date registered: Apr 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 576
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
RE: The things I have learned in life

Thats called monkey bussiness.
Btw monkeys are not that cheap me and my sister wanted to get a monkey. They run an average about 600-1000, we were told by the seller that he not recommend it in a house hold and no matter how tame the monkey is he will bite and scratch. This is all a few months ago when I was not a member here btw monkeys do also harass your ass to make you go away.

Demon_possessed is offline  
post #68 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-25-2005, 01:55 PM Thread Starter
BenzWorld Elite
 
FeelTheLove's Avatar
 
Date registered: Sep 2004
Vehicle: 83 Astral Silver 280 SL
Location: Planet Houston
Posts: 28,829
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
(Thread Starter)
RE: The things I have learned in life

Well, here is a tip from my frat house days: teach the monkey how to smoke pot. He will like totally lose the biting and scratching thing. Matter of fact, he will no longer give a shit about anything.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

-President Barack Obama, 1st Inaugural address
FeelTheLove is offline  
post #69 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-25-2005, 02:31 PM
worst mod in BW history
 
ThrillKill's Avatar
 
Date registered: Apr 2005
Vehicle: ML CLK Iridescent Hyundai Accent lol,GoPed Freightshaker & Volvo semi's, c'mawn?
Location: Chicago
Posts: 27,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Lifetime Premium Member
RE: The things I have learned in life

Quote:
kvining - 7/25/2005 2:55 PM

Well, here is a tip from my frat house days: teach the monkey how to smoke pot. He will like totally lose the biting and scratching thing. Matter of fact, he will no longer give a shit about anything.
It was in my second semester that I realized my housemate was a Celebes black macaque. He was covered in dark hair and grunted a lot. We thought he was an exchange student from the University of Athens.

ThrillKill is offline  
post #70 of 82 (permalink) Old 07-25-2005, 02:33 PM
~BANNED~
 
Date registered: Aug 2002
Posts: 41,649
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Quoted: 1761 Post(s)
RE: The things I have learned in life

Monkey on ur back u need 2 lose? Don't worry another 1 will replace it. They are designed that way. So are we.
Shane is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Mercedes-Benz Forum > General Mercedes-Benz Forums > Off-Topic

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Mercedes-Benz Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











  • Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
     
    Thread Tools
    Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
    Email this Page Email this Page
    Display Modes
    Linear Mode Linear Mode



    Posting Rules  
    You may post new threads
    You may post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are On
    Pingbacks are On
    Refbacks are On

     

    Title goes here

    close
    video goes here
    description goes here. Read Full Story
    For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome