Thank for all the advice from 2004 - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-14-2004, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
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Thank for all the advice from 2004

Just like to say thanks to all my friends on this forum who have warned or shown me such important information over the past year [:)]

It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!


Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out
from you that it's good for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the cinema through fear of sitting on a needle infected
with a disease, in the dark.

I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you
said it causes cancer.

I don't leave my car in any car parks even though I sometimes have to
walk about several miles, often in the wrong part of tow, because you
said that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me.

I've also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask
me to dial a stupid number and then I'l get a high phone bill with calls
to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo or maybe the Mars Luna-Rover.

I now only go on my PC for 20 seconds a day because you said it would
get infected with a virus and a hacker would steal all my money.

I stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because you told me they are
nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that
are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can - you said that I will get
sick from the rat faeces and urine.

When I go to parties, I now don't mix with anybody - you said that
someone will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full
of ice, or drug me and then rob and rape me.

I'm now driving around with no registration plates - you said my car would
get cloned and be used in a crime.

However, the police are also after me at present because you said not to
pull over as they could be fake policemen trying to kidnap me.

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in anticipation of The
£24,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I
participated in their special e-mail program.

It's weird, though, that my new free mobile phone never arrived, and
neither did the passes for my paid holiday.

But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or
forgot to follow and I got a curse.


OOPS I ALMOST FORGOT, IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't e-mail at least 10,000 people thanking them for all their good advice in 2004, a badger will set fire to your legs! [:D]
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-14-2004, 11:43 PM
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RE: Thank for all the advice from 2004

OK, so you are a chump.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 12-15-2004, 12:39 AM
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RE: Thank for all the advice from 2004

I don't drink diet sodas because the fake sugar supposedly gives you cancer, but I chain smoke. Figures.
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