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post #11 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-29-2004, 09:29 PM
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Maybe I'm wrong but, I've been following Benzgirl04's posts from day one. Either she is retarded or she is a 40 to 50 yr. old guy typing in his underwear, yanging our chains. There are no other possibilities.
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post #12 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-29-2004, 09:41 PM
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Understand you’re getting mostly (all, really) male options on this, from a man’s point of view – many of us who have been where your B/F is many times. Things are very simple in manworld, either black or white: Eat. Sleep. Cars. Sex. Job. Money. Simple. It is not like womanworld where everything is gray, a place of confusion and vacillation. Either you’re committed to the relationship or not. Yes or No. It sounds like you’re not so do the guy a favor and leave.
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post #13 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-30-2004, 02:27 AM
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

"When in doubt, don't."

I suggest you two lay low for a while, sort of like a cool off. Take time apart and cool your heads before it gets worse.

When the storm has calmed, then talk about what you really want (heart to heart talk). No fights. Guarantee that when somebody starts a fight, call it off until you agree on something.

I'm saying this because you mentioned you like the guy. But since you are inclined to break it off too then try that cool off thingie first and see if you like it. If both of you like it (I doubt he will, as you said he's clingy) then go ahead. If not then compromise.

It takes two to tango, and yeah you've probably heard of that a thousand times before. But when one stops, you can't dance by yourself, can you?

Goodluck.

And if it helps, "Make love, not war." [:D]

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post #14 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-30-2004, 10:12 AM Thread Starter
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Thanks for the advice karug. I appreciate it. For MRK. that was unecessary what you said. Just keep your comments to yourself, if you have nothing to say.
I posted this so if people wanted to respond to it they could, but you dont have to write negative BS stuff about me, which you dont even know me.
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post #15 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-30-2004, 10:41 AM
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Harsh as it may be....If he is regularly being a jerk (more than the one time) He may want out of the relationship as well. If it was just the one time, it may have just been one of the bad days we all face.

Give it a couple of days to cool off if you want, but after that I would certainly have a "sit down" talk about what you both want.

As you point out, we don't know you...so giving advice other than that you both need to come to some sort of agreement is just blowing in the wind.

Just my $.45 ($.02 adjusted for inflation)

Jim
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post #16 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-30-2004, 12:15 PM
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Sounds to me like the guy has flown off the hook a few times.

As for the rest of the guys who have replied, just remember what we were like when we were about that age. We were all a bit nuts and all wanted a girl to hang on to.

I think you both need to break it off and then take some time off to have a think. Do it now and don't keep the guy guessing. You never know, you might just meet some guy during the holidays.

Don't take it the wrong way, but try not to bee so needy, good things come to those who wait.

Good luck.
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post #17 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-30-2004, 12:57 PM
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Get rid of him. It's better to be alone then to be in a bad relationship.

Time and time again I've seen people get back into or stay in failing relationships because they are simply too afraid to be alone.

Regardless of who is at fault, whether you are full of yourself or he's a jerk, either way, the relationship is going downhill. Cut your losses and move onto better things.

There's someone for everyone, this is not your someone.

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post #18 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-30-2004, 01:43 PM
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Quote:
Storm. - 11/30/2004 12:15 PM

As for the rest of the guys who have replied, just remember what we were like when we were about that age. We were all a bit nuts and all wanted a girl to hang on to.
Speak for yourself -- there were so many girls around when I was 21, the last thing I wanted was a relationship. The funny was the more I told them I was just looking for a good time, the more they wanted to latch on.

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post #19 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-30-2004, 02:50 PM
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Quote:
GermanStar - 11/30/2004 3:43 PM


Speak for yourself -- there were so many girls around when I was 21, the last thing I wanted was a relationship. The funny was the more I told them I was just looking for a good time, the more they wanted to latch on.
Ooh, you were the aloof and unobtainable type? Teenage girls love that.

To the original poster: dump him. Men who are consistently clingy/needy/controlling are bad news and are generally not 'fixable'. Controlling behavior is a very bad sign. The kindest thing is to let him go so he can find a girl who likes the security of having a clingy guy, and you can find someone you're less ambiguous about, which will make you feel much better than you do now.

If I could give my college-age self any advice with the benefit of my current experience, it would be, pay less attention to the boys, pay more attention to your own personal and educational development. And judging by your writing skills, you could stand to put your focus there a year or two.
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post #20 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-30-2004, 02:51 PM Thread Starter
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RE: Need Help With BF Problem Please~Sorry Its Long!

Yea I probably should just move on. Thanks for the advice!
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