Headlines 2035 - Mercedes-Benz Forum

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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 07-21-2004, 04:42 PM Thread Starter
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(Thread Starter)
Headlines 2035

Newspaper headlines
in the year 2035

Ozone created by electric cars now killing
millions in the seventh largest country in
the world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as California's third language.

Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies
in the American Territory of the Middle East
(formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria,
and Lebanon.)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it
will take at least ten more years before
radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban
cigars can now be imported legally, but

President Chelsea Clinton has
banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for
President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class
stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail
delivery to Wednesdays only.

35 year study: Diet and Exercise is the
key to weight loss.

Massachusetts executes last remaining

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals
violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine
feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail
clippers, screw-drivers, fly swatters,
and rolled up newspapers must be
registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of
illegal political contributions to campaign

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing
to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

Florida Democrats still
don't know how to use
a voting machine.

Racer BVD,
"The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should
be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the
safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself"

"lieber Nurburgring als Ehering"
(which translates to "rather Nurburgring than a wedding ring")

"Man, being reasonable, must get drunk."
— Lord Byron
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 07-22-2004, 01:43 AM
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Date registered: Jan 2004
Location: Islamabad, PK
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RE: Headlines 2035

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