New Rules and Regulations - Mercedes-Benz Forum

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-07-2004, 11:59 PM Thread Starter
BenzWorld Member
 
ML430ish's Avatar
 
Date registered: Jan 2004
Vehicle: 99 ML430
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(Thread Starter)
New Rules and Regulations

Just picked it up from russian paper so here is rough translaton:

Rules that all women should know, in men opinion:

1. if you think you got fat, its probably true. dont ask we will refuse to answer.

2. learn to operate the toilet seat. if its up put it down.

3. birthdays, st vilentines and aniverasries are not crusades in search of a perfect gift.

4. if you asking a question you dont need a answer to, be prepared to hear an answer youdont want to hear.

5. sometimce we think about someone else. learn to live with it.

6. never ask us what we are thinking about, if you not prepared to disscus problems like lint in our belly button, hunting or racecars.

7. sunday=sport. its like fuulmoon or tides. get used to it.

8. shopping is not a sport, and you can never convice us otherwise.

9. if we are going out whatever you going to put on, is just perfect. seriosly.

10. you have enough wardrobe.

11. you have to many shoes.

12. crying is blackmailing.

13. your ex is an idiot.

14. you can ask for anything, you want. just understand this: thin hints dont work, thik hint dont work, clear hints dont work. JUST ASK.

15. no, we dont know what day it is. we never gonna know. just mark all annivessaries in calendar.

16. yes, peeing standing up is harder, so sometimes we are going to miss.

17. most men have only 3 pairs of shoes, what gives you an idea we are gonna be able to help you pick one out of 30 gonna match you outfit?

18. yes and no are the perfect answers to any question.

19. come to us with your problem if you looking for a solution. to complaing you have your girlfriends.

20. headace that lasts 17 months could be serious. go see a doctor.

21. all thats been said 6 months ago cant be used in as an argument. everything we said expires after 7 days.

22. if you refuse to get dressed like pamela anderson from last serial, dont expect us to act like gentelmen from there.

23. if something we said can be interpreded either way. and one of the meaning upsets you, then we meant the second one.

24. do not forbid us to stare at other women, we gonna do it. its in our blood.

25. please try to say everything you want during the commercial.

26. women who wear breast enhancing bra and low cut t-shirt, have lost the right to complaing that someone is staring at their breasts.

27. more women should wear enchancing bras and low cut t-shirts, we love to stare at their boobs.

28. if one of our body parts getting an itch, it willbe scratched.

29. we like drinking beer as much as you like to shop for your next purse.

30. if it is OUR house how come all my thing are in the basement, attic or storage?

31. we cant read minds and we never will. our unability to read your mind doesnt mean we do not respect you.

32. if we asked what happend and got an answer that everything is alright, we gonna act like everything is alright. we know that you lied, but its not of a fight finding out the truth.

33. if you had heard from your girlfriend that she was in our erotic fantasy, dont worry you were included in that fantasy, both of you.


thats all folks
sorry if the meaning was lost due to translation
but i had to skip like other 20 points.


1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex
4. It is important that these three women never meet
ML430ish is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-08-2004, 05:08 PM
BenzWorld Extremist
 
Date registered: Dec 2003
Vehicle: '05 330i ZHP
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
Posts: 1,036
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
RE: New Rules and Regulations

Thats hilarious. Post some more.
E V12 Nerd is offline  
post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-08-2004, 06:19 PM Thread Starter
BenzWorld Member
 
ML430ish's Avatar
 
Date registered: Jan 2004
Vehicle: 99 ML430
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(Thread Starter)
RE: New Rules and Regulations

Quote:
Chuck V - 3/9/2004 2:49 AM

good stuff, and sadly, all true. I'd love to see the other 20 points.
doyou read russian?
imean the meaning will be comopletly lost in translation plus it got some cultural nonsense[:D]

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex
4. It is important that these three women never meet
ML430ish is offline  
post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-09-2004, 02:58 PM Thread Starter
BenzWorld Member
 
ML430ish's Avatar
 
Date registered: Jan 2004
Vehicle: 99 ML430
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(Thread Starter)
RE: New Rules and Regulations

Quote:
Chuck V - 3/10/2004 10:15 PM

Quote:
doyou read russian?
yes, I read many languages, I just don't understand what the words mean.
yet you comprehend enough to reply to my irrogant question[:D]

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex
4. It is important that these three women never meet
ML430ish is offline  
post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-09-2004, 03:04 PM Thread Starter
BenzWorld Member
 
ML430ish's Avatar
 
Date registered: Jan 2004
Vehicle: 99 ML430
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(Thread Starter)
RE: New Rules and Regulations

A man walks to the barber shop and asks the barber if can shave only one side of his face? the barber replies sure why not. so the is asking againg wouldn't it be fair if charges him half since his gonna shave only half of his face? the barber again agrees. so the guy gets in the chair ready to be shaved, when barber asks him which he would like to get shaved, the guy replies: the outside please only.
Attached Images
 

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex
4. It is important that these three women never meet
ML430ish is offline  
post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-09-2004, 07:58 PM Thread Starter
BenzWorld Member
 
ML430ish's Avatar
 
Date registered: Jan 2004
Vehicle: 99 ML430
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
(Thread Starter)
RE: New Rules and Regulations

Attached Images
 

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex
4. It is important that these three women never meet
ML430ish is offline  
post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-09-2004, 10:45 PM
BenzWorld Elite
 
tcp_ML500's Avatar
 
Date registered: Aug 2002
Vehicle: C 111 Nardo
Location: Exiled
Posts: 9,402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 86 Post(s)
Success

A successful man: A man who makes more money than his wife is able to spend.
A successful women: A woman who marries such a man.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
-- Stephen Bishop
tcp_ML500 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

  Mercedes-Benz Forum > General Mercedes-Benz Forums > Off-Topic

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Mercedes-Benz Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











  • Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
     
    Thread Tools
    Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
    Email this Page Email this Page
    Display Modes
    Linear Mode Linear Mode



    Posting Rules  
    You may post new threads
    You may post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off
    Trackbacks are On
    Pingbacks are On
    Refbacks are On

     

    Title goes here

    close
    video goes here
    description goes here. Read Full Story
    For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome