Just picked it up from russian paper so here is rough translaton:
Rules that all women should know, in men opinion:
1. if you think you got fat, its probably true. dont ask we will refuse to answer.
2. learn to operate the toilet seat. if its up put it down.
3. birthdays, st vilentines and aniverasries are not crusades in search of a perfect gift.
4. if you asking a question you dont need a answer to, be prepared to hear an answer youdont want to hear.
5. sometimce we think about someone else. learn to live with it.
6. never ask us what we are thinking about, if you not prepared to disscus problems like lint in our belly button, hunting or racecars.
7. sunday=sport. its like fuulmoon or tides. get used to it.
8. shopping is not a sport, and you can never convice us otherwise.
9. if we are going out whatever you going to put on, is just perfect. seriosly.
10. you have enough wardrobe.
11. you have to many shoes.
12. crying is blackmailing.
13. your ex is an idiot.
14. you can ask for anything, you want. just understand this: thin hints dont work, thik hint dont work, clear hints dont work. JUST ASK.
15. no, we dont know what day it is. we never gonna know. just mark all annivessaries in calendar.
16. yes, peeing standing up is harder, so sometimes we are going to miss.
17. most men have only 3 pairs of shoes, what gives you an idea we are gonna be able to help you pick one out of 30 gonna match you outfit?
18. yes and no are the perfect answers to any question.
19. come to us with your problem if you looking for a solution. to complaing you have your girlfriends.
20. headace that lasts 17 months could be serious. go see a doctor.
21. all thats been said 6 months ago cant be used in as an argument. everything we said expires after 7 days.
22. if you refuse to get dressed like pamela anderson from last serial, dont expect us to act like gentelmen from there.
23. if something we said can be interpreded either way. and one of the meaning upsets you, then we meant the second one.
24. do not forbid us to stare at other women, we gonna do it. its in our blood.
25. please try to say everything you want during the commercial.
26. women who wear breast enhancing bra and low cut t-shirt, have lost the right to complaing that someone is staring at their breasts.
27. more women should wear enchancing bras and low cut t-shirts, we love to stare at their boobs.
28. if one of our body parts getting an itch, it willbe scratched.
29. we like drinking beer as much as you like to shop for your next purse.
30. if it is OUR house how come all my thing are in the basement, attic or storage?
31. we cant read minds and we never will. our unability to read your mind doesnt mean we do not respect you.
32. if we asked what happend and got an answer that everything is alright, we gonna act like everything is alright. we know that you lied, but its not of a fight finding out the truth.
33. if you had heard from your girlfriend that she was in our erotic fantasy, dont worry you were included in that fantasy, both of you.
thats all folks
sorry if the meaning was lost due to translation
but i had to skip like other 20 points.