Date registered: Oct 2003
Vehicle: 1991 300 CE
Location: Toronto, Ont.
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
about the English language
>Excellence in Communication
>If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! The
>homonyms and observations below may give you a clue about why the English
>language is so hard to learn.
>1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
>2) The farm was used to produce produce.
>3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
>5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
>present the present.
>8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
>10) I did not object to the object.
>11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
>13) They were too close to the door to close it.
>14) A buck does funny things when does are present.
>15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
>16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
>18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
>19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
>20) The doctor had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
>Some amusing observations on the rationality of the English language:
>There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
>English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in
>France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
>meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
>neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
>Why is it that painters paint and teachers teach but fingers don't fing,
>grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Then, if the teachers taught,
>didn't preachers praught?
>If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One
>goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
>Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
>If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
>what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
>If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
>In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
>Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
>Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
>How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
>wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
>language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
>fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going
>When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
>English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
>creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.