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Not The F1 News
A selection of the stories you won't be seeing on other F1 websites. For a very good reason...
REINING MASS IN
Ferrari boss Stefano Domenicali has been defending driver Felipe Massa after his unsavoury outburst at the Singapore GP. In the wake of Massa's behaviour one of the team's 'motoring product' sponsors questioned whether it was good to have a driver who is prone to road rage. However Domenicali has batted back criticisms of his driver spitting the dummy in Singapore.
"What you think we do? We are notta going to call in SuperNanny and put a naughty step in front of the Ferrari motorhome, if that'sa what you mean," answered Domenicali. "These ideas I have seen, that he should be putta into toddler reins they are insulting. No, we will notta do that. We have taken away his pocket money for Singapore and that is an enda to it."
Lewis Hamilton has been out promoting F1 in India. Driving his Vodafone McLaren-Mercedes through the streets of Bangalore, Lewis was doing his promotional bit to generate excitement and interest ahead of the upcoming Indian Grand Prix. Before the demonstration run Lewis was entertained at a traditional local restaurant where he and his engineers enjoyed the famous Bangalore Phal, a ferociously spicy curry. The demonstration event was witnessed by 150,000 enthusiastic locals who were thrilled as Lewis let his car off the leash in a cloud of tyre smoke. "It was great, it was a blast" said Lewis after his Banaglore experience, "that really switched on the afterburners."
CHRISTIAN GRILLS BERNIE
In one of the hardest-hitting interviews since Marc from 'Ugly Betty' interviewed Elton about his shoes, Christian Horner probed Bernie Ecclestone for the official F1 website. According to Bernie, FOTA (the Formula One Teams Association) should leave all the revenue-earning side of F1 to him and just concentrate on making their cars go quicker. As one pitlane inside commented, "That's a bit like a wolf saying to the farmer, 'these sheep you've got in the field. I'll take care of them.'"
IS ROSS BRAWN A BOND VILLAIN?
Ross Brawn has implemented his cunning scheme to horde all the Technical Directors in F1. Like a Bond villain, Brawn's masterplan is to assemble all the former technical directors in one building, so no-one else can have one. The latest piece of the strategy was revealed this week when Aldo Costa (former Ferrari TD) and Geoff Willis (former HRT TD) announced they were joining Mercedes, who already had Bob Bell (former Renault TD) working for them. It turns out that McLaren recently signed (former Williams TD) Sam Michael only so that Brawn couldn't get his hands on him.
ABOUT AS LIKELY AS...
With Sebastian Vettel only needing one point from the remaining five races - having only contrived to finish off the podium at one event this year - statisticians were working out the probability of Seb NOT winning the World Championship this year. They have also come up with a series of scenarios MORE likely than Sebastian Vettel failing to win. They are:
a) Eddie Jordan starting a new F1 team with his own money.
b) Peter Sauber turning up at a race with an old hairpiece he bought off EJ
c) Luca Montezemolo sending Stefano Domenicali a congratulatory telegram for securing third place in the constructors' race
d) The stewards penalising the entire field of drivers in a race, with the exception of Lewis Hamilton.*
And finally, Mark Webber has denied that Jenson Button has given him a special present. "There were reports in the press that after my last start Jenson promised to buy me a Motability Scooter," commented Mark. "I'd just like to say that's entirely false. And I don't know if I could handle the G-forces of that kind of acceleration."
*Thought to be in the same band of likelihood as finding intelligent life on Pluto. Or in Pluto