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Old 03-03-2006, 01:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
Naomilla2.0
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Date registered: Sep 2005
Vehicle: 1988 560SEL sold: 2006 Honda Element EX-P 2007 A4 Avant 2.0T
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RE: Corporate Lessons

Corporate Lesson #6

An organization is like a tree full of monkey - all on different levels, some climbing up. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys at the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

All the time, the monkeys on the top will get the FRUITS first, and most of the time, they will eventually produce SHIT for all the monkeys below. And all the time, that's what the monkeys below will get.

For those monkeys who are climbing up, they have to first KISS plenty of ass in order to move up. How high they climb, will have to depend on how good they kiss. And always if the one on top will not kiss any ass, his ass will get KICKED.

During times of great difficulties and hardships, the monkeys on the top may fall a few branches down and hit the monkeys below. The monkeys below will be fallen upon and eventually some will FALL OFF the tree, as in retrenched. As compensation these monkeys that fell off get to keep the fruits that were shaken off the tree during the commotion. The tree becomes lighter and life slowly returns to normal.

And that my friends is what we call a Corporate Life Cycle.


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Corporate Lesson #7

When the body was first made, the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions". The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go". The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money". And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.

So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story : You don't have to be a brain to be a boss - any asshole will do.


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What does a baby diaper and your boss have in common?
















They are both all over your ass and usually full of shit!


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Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other.
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